Week six The game: Cowboys at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby House Lager The result: Loss, 35–29 The method: Live via Paramount+ Week seven The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: True North Festbier Lager The result: 54–13 The method: Live via CBS The headline: “Will the sun rise up tomorrow?” – Black Sabbath, “Children […]
The game: Buccaneers at Patriots The beer: True North Coco-Nilla-Zilla Stout The result: Loss, 19–17 The method: Live via Peacock The headline: “There’s something here that doesn’t last too long.” – Nazz, “Hello It’s Me” The commentary: Adele, eh? I see her and raise (the) Nazz, admitting “Hello It’s Me” isn’t a great song despite […]
The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Essex County Illume Pale Ale The result: Win, 25–6 The method: NFL Game Pass The headline: “Never hesitate to take a chump sucker down.” – Ice-T, “Ricochet” The commentary: Say what you will about the playmaking abilities of JC Jackson and the Doublemint-potential of Devin McCourty but a […]
Week one The game: Dolphins at Patriots The beer: Throwback Oma’s Tribute Black Lager The result: Loss, 17–16 The method: NFL Game Pass (spoiled) The headline: “I’d build a pyramid in your sweet memory. Would you even record my name in your diary?” – Make-Up, “Hot Coals” The commentary: It came to me in half-sleep, […]
Week six The game: Broncos at Patriots The beer: Backbeat Marcus Porter The result: Loss, 18–12 The knockout: Ditto Week seven The game: 49ers at Patriots The beer: Lexington Kentucky Pumpkin Barrel Ale The result: Loss, 33–6 The commentary: Ask and you shall receive! No, not that bit about the knockout pool “get[ting] past the […]
The game: Broncos at Patriots Unscheduled bye The beer: Simpler Times Lager The knockout: Cowboys win, 37–34 The commentary: In other words, the coronavirus defeated hubris and covered the spread by a mile. Simpler times are fading fast. Maybe the Pats and Titans should face off every week and pull in other teams (the Falcons?) […]
Week one The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: Clown Shoes Rexx Imperial Red Ale The result: Win, 27–20; Titans/Jarrod lose (times four), 27–20 Week two The game: Patriots at Jaguars The beer: 603 NH Ale The result: Loss, 31–20 Week three The game: Patriots at Lions The beer: Riverwalk Cash Bus Pale Ale The […]
The beer: Maine Mean Old Tom Stout The commentary: In honor of the MBTA refusing to look forward—with excuse-ridden complaints of “last week’s historic tidal surge” delaying and outright canceling countless commuter trains ever since—and also of Commissioner Rico finally paying out, here is the closing set of knockout-pool statistics that interest only me… and […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Down the Road Wolfgeist Dunkel Lager The result: Win, 26–6; Lions win, 35–11; Jarrod/Dan/Katie/Oren win, 4–53 The commentary: With apologies to Commissioner Rico, we knockout-pool participants who remain after seventeen regular-season weeks of entertainment—Dan, Katie, Asterisk Oren and myself—have copped out and agreed to split the dough four […]
The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: Two Roads Holiday Ale The result: Win, 37–16; Ravens win, 23–16; Ben wins, 5–2–1 The commentary: Completing last week’s poem: Wine before beer… Death, I fear! Wednesday was not so clean, as happens to the best of us in weaker moments. Weak, like Paul and Undefeated Tim trusting […]
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