I have no words (part 7)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Author: Jarrod
Beer and football XI — week fifteen
The game: Patriots at Dolphins The beer: Devil’s Purse Shelby Rose Red Ale The result: Loss, 22–12 The commentary: And lo, how Rush nerds rue the Dolphins’ two-point conversion! As a quick postscript to last week’s coverage of The Star Wars Holiday Special (which unexpectedly ballooned to over three thousand goddamn words), Chuck from Stuff […]
Beer and football XI — weeks thirteen and fourteen
Week thirteen The game: Patriots at Chargers The beer: Springdale Brig Mocha Stout The result: Win, 45–0 Week fourteen The game: Patriots at Rams The beer: Maine Post-Ride Snack India Pale Ale The result: Loss, 24–3 The commentary: You see, last week—pre-Rams—was the time to discuss the Chargers game. “Forty-five to zero, you say? As […]
Beer and football XI — weeks eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve
Week eight The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: North Coast Old Stock Ale The result: Loss, 24–21 Week nine The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Oak & Iron Wacko Jacko Dark Pumpkin Ale The result: Win, 30–27 Week ten The game: Ravens at Patriots The beer: Liars Bench Cut-Off Schwartz Dark Lager The […]
Beer and football XI — weeks six and seven
Week six The game: Broncos at Patriots The beer: Backbeat Marcus Porter The result: Loss, 18–12 The knockout: Ditto Week seven The game: 49ers at Patriots The beer: Lexington Kentucky Pumpkin Barrel Ale The result: Loss, 33–6 The commentary: Ask and you shall receive! No, not that bit about the knockout pool “get[ting] past the […]
Beer and football XI — week five (bye)
The game: Broncos at Patriots Unscheduled bye The beer: Simpler Times Lager The knockout: Cowboys win, 37–34 The commentary: In other words, the coronavirus defeated hubris and covered the spread by a mile. Simpler times are fading fast. Maybe the Pats and Titans should face off every week and pull in other teams (the Falcons?) […]
Beer and football XI — week four
The game: Patriots at Chiefs The beer: Toppling Goliath Pseudo Sue Pale Ale The result: Loss, 26–10 The knockout: Rams win, 17–9 The commentary: At what point did a slow-news Thursday turn the corner? It’s as if my throwaway observation that Trump “might drop dead just for the ratings” challenged his team to declare “Ratings? […]
Beer and football XI — week three
The game: Raiders at Patriots The beer: True North Black Is Beautiful Imperial Stout The result: Win, 36–20 The knockout: Colts win, 36–7 The commentary: “It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character almost every other country in the world has learned to fear and despise.” […]
Beer and football XI — week two
The game: Patriots at Seahawks The beer: Night Shift Whirlpool Pale Ale The result: Loss, 35–30 The knockout: Titans win, 33–30 The commentary: Undefeated season? I won’t rule it out! Meet the new boss, folks, because this is the team’s most impressive season-opening win-streak in years, as Cam Newton distributes regret evenly across half the […]
Beer and football XI: Rejecting the luxury of hindsight
Week one The game: Dolphins at Patriots The beer: Oak & Iron Acorn Brown Ale The result: Win, 21–11 The knockout: Bills win, 27–17 The commentary: Where were we? Phase 1A Malaise. Phase 1B Transition. Phase 1C “Vega$!” Now that we’re caught up… Phase 2 “Jarrett Stidham is the heir apparent to Tom Brady! Truly, […]
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