The game: Falcons at Patriots The beer: Nonesuch River Irish Red Ale The result: Win, 24–23 The record: 7–2 The headline: “Automatic, systematic.” – Digable Planets, “The Art of Easing” The commentary: Listen. The Patriots are not going to win the Super Bowl. They’re not going to get by the Bills in the postseason, the […]
The game: Browns at Patriots The beer: Fat Orange Cat Pumpkin Spice Latte Oatmeal Stout The result: Win, 32–13 The record: 6–2 The headline: “I see your number, it’s a flashing sign.” – Ty Segall, “Who Are You” The commentary: New England football is back and so too is Idiot Patriots Fandom, the kind where […]
The game: Patriots at Titans The beer: Liars Bench Pair of Pennies Czech Amber Lager The result: Win, 31–13 The record: 5–2 The headline: “Treason! Treason! The spectre looms again!” – Rainbow, “Kill the King” The commentary: “Kill the king,” you ask? I’m just riffing on my old Nashville Kings bit and celebrating G’s embrace […]
The game: Patriots at Saints The beer: Tree House Patient Rover Munich-Style Dunkel Lager The result: Win, 25–19 The record: 4–2 The headline: “I turn and get by the other way around.” – The Jesus Lizard, “Pop Song” The commentary: Congratulations, friends, on another four-win season! Football is fun again and it only took six […]
At Bills: “When was the first time you really felt like a grown-up (if ever)?” The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: Corner Point Down the Hatch Amber Ale The result: Win, 23–20 The record: 3–2 The headline: “It tickle me down to my toe-oes!” – The Velvet Underground, “White Light/White Heat” The commentary: I’m […]
The game: Panthers at Patriots The beer: Von Trapp Schwarz Schwarzbier The result: Win, 42–13 The record: 2–2 The headline: “I’m gonna make them pay.” – Dead Meadow, “The Queen of All Returns” The commentary: On the subject of jobs, I think Marcus Jones’s as punt returner is pretty secure—put him in drag to make […]
We absolutely need him: “List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter” The game: Steelers at Patriots The beer: Exhibit ‘A’ Briefcase Porter The result: Loss, 21–14 The record: 1–2 The headline: “Expose a jewel.” – Edan, “Fumbling Over Words That Rhyme” The commentary: Vrabel on Stevenson’s costly fumbles, benching: Still “need him.” […]
The game: Patriots at Dolphins The beer: Shipyard Summer Wheat Ale The result: Win, 33–27 The record: 1–1 The headline: “We gotta clean it up cuz it’s so dope.” – Ice-T, “Fried Chicken” The commentary: Ice’s “Freedom of Speech… Just Watch What You Say” is too on the nose, right? In that case, here’s a […]
Two books at the same time: “Do you see yourself as a leader?” Week one The game: Raiders at Patriots The beer: Ipswich Vienna Lager The result: Loss, 20–13 The record: 0–1 The headline: “Meet me in the bottom, bring me my running shoes!” – Howlin’ Wolf, “Down in the Bottom” The commentary: Are you […]
I get Evens: “How do you relax?” The beer: Goodfire Watt Pale Ale The headline: “Why would they fold up something so precious?” – Evens, “Cut From the Cloth” The commentary: Here’s another, since I continue to ask so many questions: what do followers of, say, twenty-five teams do to get pumped for a new […]
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