The game: Patriots at Chargers The beer: Allagash Haunted House Dark Ale The result: Win, 27–24 The method: NFL Game Pass The headline: “I’m a mummay! I scahr people! Watch what happuns! When I walk up to someboday!” – The Fall, “The Mummy” The commentary: Apologies to Bob McFadden and Rod “Dor” McKuen, whose 1959 […]
Week six The game: Cowboys at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby House Lager The result: Loss, 35–29 The method: Live via Paramount+ Week seven The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: True North Festbier Lager The result: 54–13 The method: Live via CBS The headline: “Will the sun rise up tomorrow?” – Black Sabbath, “Children […]
Expectations cannot help themselves. Sometimes, as during a post-Trump era of adults running the show, science and public health are regarded with respect and decisions are made in order to, you know, not let hundreds of thousands of us die. So any president after Trump would be and has been an improvement. For instance, expectations […]
Week eight The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: North Coast Old Stock Ale The result: Loss, 24–21 Week nine The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Oak & Iron Wacko Jacko Dark Pumpkin Ale The result: Win, 30–27 Week ten The game: Ravens at Patriots The beer: Liars Bench Cut-Off Schwartz Dark Lager The […]
The game: Broncos at Patriots Unscheduled bye The beer: Simpler Times Lager The knockout: Cowboys win, 37–34 The commentary: In other words, the coronavirus defeated hubris and covered the spread by a mile. Simpler times are fading fast. Maybe the Pats and Titans should face off every week and pull in other teams (the Falcons?) […]
The game: Patriots at Chiefs The beer: Toppling Goliath Pseudo Sue Pale Ale The result: Loss, 26–10 The knockout: Rams win, 17–9 The commentary: At what point did a slow-news Thursday turn the corner? It’s as if my throwaway observation that Trump “might drop dead just for the ratings” challenged his team to declare “Ratings? […]
The game: Raiders at Patriots The beer: True North Black Is Beautiful Imperial Stout The result: Win, 36–20 The knockout: Colts win, 36–7 The commentary: “It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character almost every other country in the world has learned to fear and despise.” […]
The game: Patriots at Seahawks The beer: Night Shift Whirlpool Pale Ale The result: Loss, 35–30 The knockout: Titans win, 33–30 The commentary: Undefeated season? I won’t rule it out! Meet the new boss, folks, because this is the team’s most impressive season-opening win-streak in years, as Cam Newton distributes regret evenly across half the […]
Week one The game: Dolphins at Patriots The beer: Oak & Iron Acorn Brown Ale The result: Win, 21–11 The knockout: Bills win, 27–17 The commentary: Where were we? Phase 1A Malaise. Phase 1B Transition. Phase 1C “Vega$!” Now that we’re caught up… Phase 2 “Jarrett Stidham is the heir apparent to Tom Brady! Truly, […]
Look at that! I jumped to WordPress because Blogger’s days have got to be numbered, right? Google can’t have put five bucks into a product that has barely evolved since I started writing in 2005—fear not, though, for Biff! Bang! Pow! isn’t going anywhere, at least not by my hand, since I refuse to deal […]
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