Quintessentially me: “Share five things you’re good at” The game: Giants at Patriots The beer: Definitive Contee Kölsch-Style Ale The result: Win, 33–15 The record: 11–2 The headline: “Gather the patriots like days of old! Have no regrets—soon the bodies are cold!” – Fifty Foot Hose, “Red the Sign Post” The commentary: I get the […]
The game: Patriots at Bengals The beer: Sacred Profane Smoked Dark Lager The result: Win, 26–20 The record: 10–2 The headline: “I’m gonna keep on doin’ what I’m doin’ till I can’t do what I’m doin’ no more.” – Isley Brothers, “Keep on Doin’” The commentary: You can only play the teams on your schedule […]
The game: Patriots at Dolphins The beer: Shipyard Summer Wheat Ale The result: Win, 33–27 The record: 1–1 The headline: “We gotta clean it up cuz it’s so dope.” – Ice-T, “Fried Chicken” The commentary: Ice’s “Freedom of Speech… Just Watch What You Say” is too on the nose, right? In that case, here’s a […]
It’s the Republicans, stupid: “What bothers you and why?” “This might be a June thing from now on.” Riiight. Remember when the blather published in the second half of May? Oh well, it’s not as if various current environments are changing on a daily goddamn basis. July is the new black and so is malaise. […]
Read Which Way to Mecca, Jack? for a third time.
The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: Hopothecary Sweepnman’s Flu(e) Fix Red Ale The result: Loss, 27–21 The method: Live via Paramount+ The record: 4–12 The headline: “They won’t come around—your king’s a cunt.” – Osees, “Intercepted Message” The commentary: First, I apologize for the four-letter-est of the four-letter words. It’s what a four- or […]
Drink. Corn Flakes. Dark Rum. Repo Man is my favorite movie in another universe. (In ours: ET.) It’s hilarious and the third act is a mess and the Circle Jerks throw shit at the fan. “I can’t believe I used to like these guys.” The subhuman soundtrack provides a third version of “TV Party,” some […]
Scene: it’s autumn. Route 1 along the North Shore (title case) of Massachusetts—rather, “Old Route 1,” to distinguish it from the stretch with strip clubs and furniture outlets and orange dinosaurs. The scenic portion with private schools and shuttered restaurants and blind intersections that almost kill you (truth). Radio: on. “Fire” by the Crazy World […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Ipswich Brown Square English-Style Brown Ale The result: Win, 10–3 The method: NFL+ The headline: “No one makes me close my eyes.” – Pink Floyd, “Echoes” The commentary: The less said about this one, the better. They should have! They should have made me close my eyes! Rhamondre […]
Week one The game: Patriots at Dolphins The beer: Turtle Swamp JP Porter The result: Loss, 20–7 The method: NFL Game Pass NFL+ The knockout: Steelers win, 23–20 Week two The game: Patriots at Steelers The beer: Moat Mountain Boneshaker Brown Ale The result: Win, 17–14 The method: NFL+ The knockout: Packers win, 27–10 Week […]
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