The game: Patriots at Steelers The beer: Mayflower Daily Ration Session India Pale Ale The result: Win, 27–16; Packers win, 26–10 The commentary: “You stink. You stink. You stink!” Brandon Bolden, the special-teams ace who knocked a punted ball from the six yard line into the end zone for a touchback, did not earn my […]
The game: Bengals at Patriots The beer: Wachusett Horseshoe Ale The result: Win, 35–17; Steelers lose, 30–15 The commentary: Hell is rooting for the Steelers and watching them lose. Fuckers. Enjoy four to six weeks of your team falling out of contention, Ben. The good news is the Pats should cruise to victory Sunday afternoon. […]
The game: Patriots at Browns The beer: Lagunitas Bitter Oats Ale The result: Win, 33–13 The commentary: Ten point five percent! Who drinks so heavy a bastard during a one o’clock game? I’ll admit I didn’t notice until checking the bottle after my first sip—I was so caught up with the “Bitter” name that, of […]
The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: Newburyport Melt Away India Pale Ale The result: Loss, 16–0; Bengals win, 22–7 The commentary: It’s another outtake from week one, just like two years ago after the shellacking in Kansas City. No Pink Floyd talk this time though. No playlist modification either! That surely fucked us all. […]
The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: Ommegang Three Philosophers Quadrupel Ale The result: Win, 27–0; Dolphins win, 30–24 The commentary: Bronchitis sidelined A. so she drove G. and me to a sketchy old gymnastics academy in the middle of a Verizon dead zone for another child’s birthday—such is the nature of kindergarten and new […]
The game: Dolphins at Patriots The beer: Castle Island Keeper India Pale Ale The result: Win, 31–24; Panthers win, 46–27 The commentary: My discovery of another hometown triumph may soon be chronicled on Google Street View. As the three of us crossed the old-timey bridge on our way to the newish culinary shop—now able to […]
Week one The game: Patriots at Cardinals The beer: Harpoon Sticke Altbier The result: Win, 23–21; Texans win, 23–14 The commentary: Whoops! Well that wasn’t supposed to happen. Dry those tears, thirty-one other teams. Meet the new boss, etc. Such hubris! It’s a win and one that may not even matter much in the long […]
The beer: Founders All-Day India Pale Ale The commentary: Good lord, is it time already? To post every week? These are the problems I create for myself. Instead of keeping the old bloggo muscles in shape—writing about, I don’t know, Captain Fucking Beefheart—I’m thrown into the white-hot cauldron of wordsmithing with no sign of a […]
The beer: Bent Water Jolene Porter The commentary: We’re switching to Roman numerals. It’s so goddamn obvious, I wish I’d thought of it years ago. And here we are: the second and third rounds, one week after the fact, with full big-picture knowledge of what went down. It’s one way to bring back my “live” […]
The game: Patriots at Broncos The beer: Maine Mo Pale Ale The result: Fuuuuuuck The commentary: Oh hi! What’s that now? Riiight… The time to hesitate is through. Delaying longer than in between witnessed XLIX achievement and part one of its recorded reflection (though not part two, which stretched into summer) exemplifies the degree of […]
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