Week one The game: Patriots at Bengals The beer: Ipswich Steam Punk Lager The result: Win, 16–10 The record: 1–0 The headline: “Repetition… fearful living.” – Unwound, “Unauthorized Biography” The commentary: I mean, what took me so long? “Journal entry number twenty”—it turns out Unwound could have kicked this whole beer-and-football thing off XIV years […]
Paging Stanley Morgan: “Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why” The beer: Peroni Lager The headline: “I wanna be your favorite dog, baby.” – Andre Williams, “I Wanna Be Your Favorite Pair of Pajamas” The commentary: Today it’s “Day One” asking about respectable athletes, at training camp in early August it was […]
Replicating success: “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” The beer: Harpoon Celtic Red Ale The headline: “Can you picture what will be?” – Doors, “The End” The commentary: (Continued.) Captain Beefheart’s “Bills Corpse” is a missed opportunity, sure, but Trout Mask Replica and its collection of bush recordings get plenty of love in […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Great Marsh Classic Milk Stout The result: Loss, 17–3 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–13 The headline: “It couldn’t adapt so it couldn’t survive.” – Adverts, “Great British Mistake” The commentary: “Fire Belichick.” It’s been a WordPress tag since October 2021—that writer is pissed—and a sentiment for longer, […]
The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: Hopothecary Sweepnman’s Flu(e) Fix Red Ale The result: Loss, 27–21 The method: Live via Paramount+ The record: 4–12 The headline: “They won’t come around—your king’s a cunt.” – Osees, “Intercepted Message” The commentary: First, I apologize for the four-letter-est of the four-letter words. It’s what a four- or […]
The game: Patriots at Broncos The beer: Riverwalk Peppermint Mocha Porter The result: Win, 26–23 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–11 The headline: “Shit a brick! Drive me crazy! Outta my mind!” – Pussy Galore, “Brick” The commentary: The doink of all doinks—biblically loud to the point of absurdity, betraying either a microphone buried inside […]
The game: Chiefs at Patriots The beer: Earth Eagle Puca Curry Pumpkin Porter The result: Loss, 27–17 The method: NFL+ The record: 3–11 The headline: “Yo, chief administrator, suck my oil.” – Dr. Octagon, “Technical Difficulties” The commentary: Has a team up ten points with minutes remaining in the fourth quarter ever advanced to the […]
The game: Patriots at Steelers The beer: Long Trail Hibernator Ale The result: Win, 21–18 The method: NFL+ The record: 3–10 The headline: “Has the world gone mad or is it me?” – Hawkwind, “Master of the Universe” The commentary: Hawkwind, as related throughout Hawkwind: Days of the Underground—Radical Escapism in the Age of Paranoia, […]
The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Berkshire Lager The result: Loss, 6–0 The method: NFL+ The record: 2–10 The headline: “Can we ever really know why, why the bad things come our way? Can we ever really know? Well, this is where we’re going, and this is where we’re heading. We’re hitting a new […]
The game: Patriots at Giants The beer: Smuttynose Really Old Brown Dog Ale The result: Loss, 10–7 The method: NFL+ The record: 2–9 The headline: “He doesn’t get paid overtime.” – Unwound, “The Light at the End of the Tunnel Is a Train” The commentary: Pats–Giants was on the unstreamable (to me) Fox, so I […]
More Cream Please 