The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: Hopothecary Sweepnman’s Flu(e) Fix Red Ale The result: Loss, 27–21 The method: Live via Paramount+ The record: 4–12 The headline: “They won’t come around—your king’s a cunt.” – Osees, “Intercepted Message” The commentary: First, I apologize for the four-letter-est of the four-letter words. It’s what a four- or […]
The game: Patriots at Broncos The beer: Riverwalk Peppermint Mocha Porter The result: Win, 26–23 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–11 The headline: “Shit a brick! Drive me crazy! Outta my mind!” – Pussy Galore, “Brick” The commentary: The doink of all doinks—biblically loud to the point of absurdity, betraying either a microphone buried inside […]
The game: Chiefs at Patriots The beer: Earth Eagle Puca Curry Pumpkin Porter The result: Loss, 27–17 The method: NFL+ The record: 3–11 The headline: “Yo, chief administrator, suck my oil.” – Dr. Octagon, “Technical Difficulties” The commentary: Has a team up ten points with minutes remaining in the fourth quarter ever advanced to the […]
The game: Patriots at Steelers The beer: Long Trail Hibernator Ale The result: Win, 21–18 The method: NFL+ The record: 3–10 The headline: “Has the world gone mad or is it me?” – Hawkwind, “Master of the Universe” The commentary: Hawkwind, as related throughout Hawkwind: Days of the Underground—Radical Escapism in the Age of Paranoia, […]
The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Berkshire Lager The result: Loss, 6–0 The method: NFL+ The record: 2–10 The headline: “Can we ever really know why, why the bad things come our way? Can we ever really know? Well, this is where we’re going, and this is where we’re heading. We’re hitting a new […]
The game: Patriots at Giants The beer: Smuttynose Really Old Brown Dog Ale The result: Loss, 10–7 The method: NFL+ The record: 2–9 The headline: “He doesn’t get paid overtime.” – Unwound, “The Light at the End of the Tunnel Is a Train” The commentary: Pats–Giants was on the unstreamable (to me) Fox, so I […]
Faulty machinery: “What book are you reading right now?” The beer: Schilling Alexandr Czech-Style Pilsner The record: 2–8 The headline: “It’s not complete! I must compete!” – Jay Reatard, “Waiting for Something” The commentary: I’m a few days late with this former daily prompt but I needed a theme for the bye week. Remember that […]
The game: Colts “at” Patriots (in Frankfurt) The beer: Stoneface Slopeside Milk Stout The result: Loss, 10–6 The method: NFL+ The record: 2–8 The headline: “Hey you! You’re losing! You’re losing! You’re losing! You’re losing!” – Can, “Vitamin C” The commentary: He’s like the backup quarterback who comes in in the fourth quarter, so don’t […]
Week eight The game: Patriots at Dolphins The beer: Sullivan’s Maltings Irish Ale The result: Loss, 31–17 The method: Live via Paramount+ The record: 2–6 Week nine The game: Commanders at Patriots The beer: Tripping Animals Dark No Mames Mexican-Style Dark Lager The result: Loss, 20–17 The method: Live via Fox The record: 2–7 The […]
The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: True North Sweater Weather Maple Smoked Porter The result: Win, 29–25 The method: Live via Paramount+ The record: 2–5 The headline: “I’ve made mistakes that I’m sure I’ll make again.” – Mudhoney, “Good Enough” The commentary: A win against a superior division rival is a wonderful thing. What […]
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