The game: Patriots at Bengals The beer: Sacred Profane Smoked Dark Lager The result: Win, 26–20 The record: 10–2 The headline: “I’m gonna keep on doin’ what I’m doin’ till I can’t do what I’m doin’ no more.” – Isley Brothers, “Keep on Doin’” The commentary: You can only play the teams on your schedule […]
The game: Patriots at Saints The beer: Tree House Patient Rover Munich-Style Dunkel Lager The result: Win, 25–19 The record: 4–2 The headline: “I turn and get by the other way around.” – The Jesus Lizard, “Pop Song” The commentary: Congratulations, friends, on another four-win season! Football is fun again and it only took six […]
I’ve been an active blog-maker since August 5, 2005, initially at Blogger squaring off Biff! Bang! Pow! (Vol. 1) for fifteen years. My lead post, which likely took a month to write and another few days to publish, is an explanation to no one about why I was posting at all: So I’m a blogger […]
First of all it would read, not say. Come on. Years ago I was browsing stock imagery and stumbled across one of what appeared to be a family of tennis players. This photo is two kinds of gonzo—it’s so specific and staged and weird, but also nowhere to be found on the internet any longer. […]
The game: Patriots at Raiders The beer: Baxter Oktoberfest Märzen Lager The result: Loss, 21–17 The method: Live via Paramount+ The record: 1–5 The headline: “The proof is in the pudding!” – Electric Eels, “Safety Week” The commentary: A collaborative play in three acts: Act I: Malik Cunningham, American Football Player by Wikipedian Danjobilly1 and […]
Dear sirs, I am found! As, indeed, are we! Your keen detective skills are to be commended, for my “blogging” partner, Jarrod P. Halfenhalf (née Biffington), and I have fled the fickle Alphabet Incorporated and its doomed idea-space for a more populist–and costly–publishing house. We feared for our lives should corporate fat-trimming have severed Biff! […]
The beer: Green Flash West Coast India Pale Ale The commentary: My plan was to go Friday morning. On the road by eight, Foxborough by half past nine. But the rain! What happens to the first day of training camp when it rains? I knew of the Dana-Farber Field House, as in “Practice has been […]
It was written! Wait until you’re off the bridge. Wait until you’re off the bridge. The writing warned you! Wait until you’re off the bridge. Wait until you’re off the bridge. The writing killed your phone’s camera! Wait until you’re off the bridge. Wait until you’re off the bridge. The broken camera was a warning! […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Pretty Things Hedgerow Bitter The result: Win, 30–21 The commentary: My little girl knows what’s up. She doesn’t get all bothered the way her dad does over how poor a defense a 4–1 team might have. Here she is, really taking the time to weigh all sides of […]
September 8, 1990 Dear producers of Big, How are you? Wonderful! Where can I find a fortune-teller robot? I’ve some challenges to overcome. Please ship to this address. Sincerely, Charles Napier (not the actor) 984970-6 September 8, 1990 Dear Men’s Adventure magazine, Are x-ray specs real? Are they harmful to the people you look at? […]
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