Replicating success: “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” The beer: Harpoon Celtic Red Ale The headline: “Can you picture what will be?” – Doors, “The End” The commentary: (Continued.) Captain Beefheart’s “Bills Corpse” is a missed opportunity, sure, but Trout Mask Replica and its collection of bush recordings get plenty of love in […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Great Marsh Classic Milk Stout The result: Loss, 17–3 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–13 The headline: “It couldn’t adapt so it couldn’t survive.” – Adverts, “Great British Mistake” The commentary: “Fire Belichick.” It’s been a WordPress tag since October 2021—that writer is pissed—and a sentiment for longer, […]
The game: Patriots at Broncos The beer: Riverwalk Peppermint Mocha Porter The result: Win, 26–23 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–11 The headline: “Shit a brick! Drive me crazy! Outta my mind!” – Pussy Galore, “Brick” The commentary: The doink of all doinks—biblically loud to the point of absurdity, betraying either a microphone buried inside […]
The game: Patriots at Steelers The beer: Long Trail Hibernator Ale The result: Win, 21–18 The method: NFL+ The record: 3–10 The headline: “Has the world gone mad or is it me?” – Hawkwind, “Master of the Universe” The commentary: Hawkwind, as related throughout Hawkwind: Days of the Underground—Radical Escapism in the Age of Paranoia, […]
The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Berkshire Lager The result: Loss, 6–0 The method: NFL+ The record: 2–10 The headline: “Can we ever really know why, why the bad things come our way? Can we ever really know? Well, this is where we’re going, and this is where we’re heading. We’re hitting a new […]
As a college sophomore I interned in the advertising department at the Boston Globe. Several times a week I signed a minivan out of the motor pool and drove downtown to pick up or drop off various publishing-related materials—page proofs, contact sheets, Baldini’s pizza, etc. More often, though, another intern and I took turns using […]
The game: Saints at Patriots The beer: Von Trapp Bohemian-Style Pilsner The result: Loss, 34–0 The method: Live via CBS The record: 1–4 The headline: “Where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go from here?” – UFO, “Rock Bottom” The commentary: Say what you will about Scott Zolak—I know I have—but […]
The beer: Earth Eagle Good Helmet Schwarzbier The headline: “This history lesson doesn’t make any sense.” – Built to Spill, “The Plan” The commentary: At Canobie Lake Park, a teenage boy with an alarming chest rash gathers among friends and wet towels. Nearby—too near, by accident—a man approaching fifty kills time on his phone while […]
The beer: SingleCut Frequency Lager The headline: “Don’t you know that I’ll always be true?” – Iron Butterfly, “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” The commentary: Three generations of Halfenhalfs returned to Patriots training camp after a year’s hiatus and it’s just as well we missed Matt Patricia’s failure to sit up straight and build a functional NFL offense. Good […]
Scene: it’s autumn. Route 1 along the North Shore (title case) of Massachusetts—rather, “Old Route 1,” to distinguish it from the stretch with strip clubs and furniture outlets and orange dinosaurs. The scenic portion with private schools and shuttered restaurants and blind intersections that almost kill you (truth). Radio: on. “Fire” by the Crazy World […]
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