The game: Patriots at Ravens The beer: Marshall Wharf Black Velvet Schwarzbier The result: Win, 28–24 The record: 12–3 The headline: “Nobody couldn’t do nothin’ once he let the brick go.” – Madvillain, “All Caps” The commentary: First, a public service announcement. Thee Mike Florio from Pro Football Self-Promotion is offering up his Big Shield […]
It’s the Republicans, stupid: “What bothers you and why?” “This might be a June thing from now on.” Riiight. Remember when the blather published in the second half of May? Oh well, it’s not as if various current environments are changing on a daily goddamn basis. July is the new black and so is malaise. […]
The beer: Rockport Pescato Italian Style Pilsner The headline: “I said life stinks! I said I need a drink! I said life stinks! I said life stinks! I said!” – Pere Ubu, “Life Stinks” The commentary: RIP David Thomas—as if Crocus Behemoth wouldn’t go first overall and redefine left tackle dominance. The Patriots stink, right? […]
Red pants: “If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?” The beer: Foundation Burnside Brown Ale The headline: “Well, a rose is a rose is a rose by any other name.” – Railroad Jerk, “One Step Forward” The commentary: Relocate those Foxborough fuckers, shed the heavy-baggage mascot and call them […]
Week nine The game: Patriots at Titans The beer: Notch Kölsch Cologne-Style Ale The result: Loss, 20–17 The record: 2–7 Week ten The game: Patriots at Bears The beer: Newburyport 110 Copper Ale The result: Win, 19–3 The record: 3–7 Week eleven The game: Rams at Patriots The beer: Night Shift Dunkel John’s Band Lager […]
Sinclair, Royale, Royale: “You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?” The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale The result: Win, 25–22 The record: 2–6 The headline: “You’ve got Nazi fever!” – Osees, “Cassius, Brutus and Judas” The commentary: Google search results—reliable!—cannot confirm that John Dwyer sings “You’ve got […]
The game: Patriots vs. Jaguars The beer: Riverwalk One-Eyed Jack Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 32–16 The record: 1–6 The headline: “Do you like the way it burns?” – Unwound, “Disappoint” The commentary: So many questions! So much Unwound! So much disappointment! The Future of What—released in April 1995 and recorded (according to the liner […]
Read Which Way to Mecca, Jack? for a third time.
Week two The game: Seahawks at Patriots The beer: Tributary Märzen Oktoberfest Lager The result: Loss, 23–20 The record: 1–1 Week three The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Riverwalk Me & My Dunkel Lager The result: Loss, 24–3 The record: 1–2 The headline: “Oh love, you were a sickly child, and how the wind […]
Week one The game: Patriots at Bengals The beer: Ipswich Steam Punk Lager The result: Win, 16–10 The record: 1–0 The headline: “Repetition… fearful living.” – Unwound, “Unauthorized Biography” The commentary: I mean, what took me so long? “Journal entry number twenty”—it turns out Unwound could have kicked this whole beer-and-football thing off XIV years […]
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