The game: Patriots at Saints The beer: Riverwalk Storm Door Porter The result: Win, 36–20; Raiders win, 45–20 The commentary: “What album cover banned or censored because of nudity deserved it the most?” I took out the unnecessary comma after “nudity” but resisted rewriting Johnny Keno’s question for him (almost: “Which banned or censored album […]
I am tired and a little bored. Two years and two volumes ago, a similarly exhaustive post—so soon after the Miles Davis fusion-o-rama and a heartbreaking goodbye to my dear Chlo-Chlo—threatened a self-imposed May deadline and so I subtracted twenty-five percent, whipped up a simple stock-image cover, rested my eyes for a few weeks and […]
The game: Ravens at Patriots The beer: Northampton Conundrum Black Lager The result: Win, 30–23 The commentary: It’s always satisfying to beat up on the Ravens. This was a blowout all the way—those fluky fumbles had me emailing my dad the next day with an understated “It would have been a tough one to get […]
There are forty-eight planets and moons in our solar system and one hundred ninety-five visible stars in the universe. And there it is. Longtime readers (!) tripped up by last year’s abbreviated playlist, tallying “only” thirty-six songs at a brisk two and three-quarter hours—and down almost three thousand words from 2014—will surely find comfort in […]
The game: Titans at Patriots The beer: Josephsbrau Winter Brew Dark Double Bock Lager The result: Win, 33–16 The commentary: No clickbait this week! I’m still waiting to see the Akiem Hicks touchdown anyway, since the L-team behind Eye-Anne Eagle and Dan “You Might Learn the Rules, Dan, Since You Used to Play the Position” […]
The game: Eagles at Patriots The beer: Founders Breakfast Stout The result: Loss, 35–28 The commentary: This is where the heaviness sets in. Perhaps my “Before Floyd”/“After Floyd” theory was too broad. Is it, in fact, a Founders Curse? First the All-Day IPA and now the Breakfast Stout: can it be so simple? Or should […]
The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: Ballast Point Black Marlin Porter The result: Win, 20–13 The commentary: “I’m not emotionally prepared to write about the state of my football team.” Lo, had I joined the loathsome rabble? Remain I there? Surely not, so long as ours is somehow a top-twenty defense. I’ve recently… acquired… […]
This may be my shortest playlist essay yet (“more probable than not”). I poured everything into those goddamn Super-Biffys after we lost Chloe. Considering the starts and stops since that post’s infancy in 2014—I’d originally planned it as a literal January 10 anniversary piece to 2010’s wasted clickbait opportunity—I’m pleased with the results. It was […]
Welcome to the Lynn Auditorium! As we commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of the First Annual Biffy® Special I present to you the Super-Biffys™! The greatest album from every ten-year span since 1964. Why 1964? Because shut up! Here are the nominees under consideration by the Lower Galactic Biffy Council. Within each category, a special inter-net […]
Full-on electric The game: Patriots vs. Seahawks The beer: Dogfish Head Miles Davis’s Bitches Brew Ale The result: (To be continued) The commentary: The most expensive beer of the year cost about fourteen dollars. It’s been so long now, with Dr. Jones finally standing in for Major Toht, that the details are fuzzy—a lot has […]
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