Beer and football XVI — week fifteen

The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: Ipswich Red Dwarf Ale The result: Loss, 35–31 The record: 11–3 The Survivor: Savannah, 5–2–1 The headline: “Got mad and cried when you knew it was won.” – Tad, “Jinx” The commentary: That’s what happens when you go into the home stretch with a big advantage of then—ptooff!—you […]

Beer and football XVI — week ten

The game: Patriots at Buccaneers The beer: Riverwalk Pumpkin Porter The result: Win, 28–23 The record: 8–2 The headline: “Oooh, it’s so good, it’s so good, it’s so good, it’s so good, it’s sooo goood.” – Donna Summer, “I Feel Love” The commentary: If Tony Romo is down to fuck then who am I to […]

Beer and football XVI — week nine

The game: Falcons at Patriots The beer: Nonesuch River Irish Red Ale The result: Win, 24–23 The record: 7–2 The headline: “Automatic, systematic.” – Digable Planets, “The Art of Easing” The commentary: Listen. The Patriots are not going to win the Super Bowl. They’re not going to get by the Bills in the postseason, the […]

Beer and football XVI — week seven

The game: Patriots at Titans The beer: Liars Bench Pair of Pennies Czech Amber Lager The result: Win, 31–13 The record: 5–2 The headline: “Treason! Treason! The spectre looms again!” – Rainbow, “Kill the King” The commentary: “Kill the king,” you ask? I’m just riffing on my old Nashville Kings bit and celebrating G’s embrace […]

Beer and football XVI — the draft

The beer: Rockport Pescato Italian Style Pilsner The headline: “I said life stinks! I said I need a drink! I said life stinks! I said life stinks! I said!” – Pere Ubu, “Life Stinks” The commentary: RIP David Thomas—as if Crocus Behemoth wouldn’t go first overall and redefine left tackle dominance. The Patriots stink, right? […]

Beer and football XIV — week thirteen

The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Berkshire Lager The result: Loss, 6–0 The method: NFL+ The record: 2–10 The headline: “Can we ever really know why, why the bad things come our way? Can we ever really know? Well, this is where we’re going, and this is where we’re heading. We’re hitting a new […]

Beer and football XIV — week twelve

The game: Patriots at Giants The beer: Smuttynose Really Old Brown Dog Ale The result: Loss, 10–7 The method: NFL+ The record: 2–9 The headline: “He doesn’t get paid overtime.” – Unwound, “The Light at the End of the Tunnel Is a Train” The commentary: Pats–Giants was on the unstreamable (to me) Fox, so I […]

Far too many notes for my taste

Scene: it’s autumn. Route 1 along the North Shore (title case) of Massachusetts—rather, “Old Route 1,” to distinguish it from the stretch with strip clubs and furniture outlets and orange dinosaurs. The scenic portion with private schools and shuttered restaurants and blind intersections that almost kill you (truth). Radio: on. “Fire” by the Crazy World […]