The game: Browns at Patriots The beer: Fat Orange Cat Pumpkin Spice Latte Oatmeal Stout The result: Win, 32–13 The record: 6–2 The headline: “I see your number, it’s a flashing sign.” – Ty Segall, “Who Are You” The commentary: New England football is back and so too is Idiot Patriots Fandom, the kind where […]
I get Evens: “How do you relax?” The beer: Goodfire Watt Pale Ale The headline: “Why would they fold up something so precious?” – Evens, “Cut From the Cloth” The commentary: Here’s another, since I continue to ask so many questions: what do followers of, say, twenty-five teams do to get pumped for a new […]
Red pants: “If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?” The beer: Foundation Burnside Brown Ale The headline: “Well, a rose is a rose is a rose by any other name.” – Railroad Jerk, “One Step Forward” The commentary: Relocate those Foxborough fuckers, shed the heavy-baggage mascot and call them […]
The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: True West Hat & Mittens Dark Lager The result: Win, 23–16 The record: 4–13 The headline: “Something, something, something, when this is over.” – Shellac, “I Don’t Fear Hell” The commentary: “Fire Mayo” is activated a mere three hours after the bloggo tag’s inception—were “Fire Belichick” so effective! […]
The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby Extra Layer Winter Fest Lager The result: Loss, 40–7 The record: 3–13 The headline: “Tie her hand behind her back and feed her some disguise.” – Boss Hog, “What the Fuck” The commentary: I brought a date to see diary editors Boss Hog at TT the […]
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