The game: Chiefs at Patriots The beer: Earth Eagle Puca Curry Pumpkin Porter The result: Loss, 27–17 The method: NFL+ The record: 3–11 The headline: “Yo, chief administrator, suck my oil.” – Dr. Octagon, “Technical Difficulties” The commentary: Has a team up ten points with minutes remaining in the fourth quarter ever advanced to the […]
The game: Patriots at Chiefs The beer: Toppling Goliath Pseudo Sue Pale Ale The result: Loss, 26–10 The knockout: Rams win, 17–9 The commentary: At what point did a slow-news Thursday turn the corner? It’s as if my throwaway observation that Trump “might drop dead just for the ratings” challenged his team to declare “Ratings? […]
Week seven The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Avery Ellie’s Brown Ale The result: Win, 33–0 Week eight The game: Browns at Patriots The beer: Lord Hobo Dark Lager The result: Win, 27–13 Week nine The game: Patriots at Ravens The beer: Ipswich Chucktoberfest Lager The result: Loss, 37–20 Week ten (bye) The beer: […]
The game: Patriots at Chiefs The beer: Clown Shoes La Bestia Furiosa Mexican-Style Imperial Stout The result: Win, 37–31 The commentary: At eighty-eight miles per hour we copyedit last week’s thrilling conclusion: “With Edelman likely unsuccessfully neutralized I’m looking to James White, Sony Michel and Chris Hogan’s cloak of invisibility impressive athleticism and hands to […]
Week five The game: Colts at Patriots The beer: Campanology For Whom Imperial Mexican Stout The result: Win, 38–24 Week six The game: Chiefs at Patriots The beer: Ballast Point Indra Kunindra Stout The result: Win, 43–40 Week seven The game: Patriots at Bears The beer: Ipswich Dark Ale The result: Win, 38–31 The commentary: […]
Week one The game: Chiefs at Patriots The beer: Maine Lunch India Pale Ale The result: Loss, 42–27; Falcons win, 23–17 The commentary: “There goes the no-hitter,” as I would say—every time—in the days when I attended Red Sox games. “Patriots eat shit in front of God and everyone,” says some “unionized” basement-dweller under the […]
The game: Chiefs at Patriots The beer: Ballast Point Sculpin India Pale Ale The result: Win, 27–20 The commentary: Ladies and gentlemen, Andy Reid & His Five-Minute Drives! I love that band. I love when the Pats’ defense can just hang out and listen to them perform without worrying about where to stand and whom […]
The game: Patriots at Chiefs The beer: Clown Shoes Pecan Pie Porter The result: Loss, 41–14; Chargers win, 33–14 The commentary: “No pictures of my little girl will accompany losses, especially losses as ugly and perplexing as this.” Almost. Here’s an outtake from week one, basically summing up the game. The porter was delicious and […]
Week eight The game: Patriots at Steelers The beer: Cambridge Great Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 25–17 The commentary: My favorite pumpkin beer, marred by repeated long completions down the middle of the field to a wide-open tight end. Hey, that’s what the Pats are supposed to do! I would love another shot at these […]
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