Week nine (bye) The beer: Down the Road Patchwork Kilt Scottish-Style Ale The result: Saints win, 30–10 Week ten The game: Patriots at Broncos The beer: Lagunitas NightTime Ale The result: Win, 41–16; Seahawks win, 22–16 The commentary: Root for either the Saints or the Seahawks. Almost: root for both the Saints and the Seahawks […]
The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Murphy’s Stout The result: Win, 21–13; Vikings win, 33–16 The commentary: “Come on you motherfuckers! I’m supposed to win this goddamn thing!” Competition brings out the worst, particularly when your heavy favorite is settling for field goals and your wife and daughter are out of the house. Entitlement […]
The game: Falcons at Patriots The beer: Anderson Valley Fall Hornin’ Pumpkin Ale The result: Win, 23–7; Cowboys win, 40–10 The commentary: I thought the death blow was coming for us all. Given the reasons I listed last week, none more so than “watch your ass,” I suspected an overabundance of Steelers, Panthers, Titans and, […]
The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Ballast Point Dead Ringer Oktoberfest Lager The result: Win, 24–17; Texans win, 33–17 The commentary: “Recency bias is one of the trickier forms of bias that may interfere with an effective performance review. When managers RICO perps are affected by this they tend to over- or undervalue short-term […]
The game: Patriots at Buccaneers The beer: Bear Republic Racer X Double India Pale Ale The result: Win, 19–14; Eagles win, 34–7 The commentary: Too soon? But that’s my ET stuffie since Christmas 1982! This fucking defense still blows but what are you gonna do? Trade Malcolm Butler for a tight end? No thanks. An […]
The game: Panthers at Patriots The beer: Castle Island Candlepin Ale The result: Loss, 33–30; Packers win, 35–14 The commentary: This fucking defense blows. This? Fucking defense! Blows this. Fucking… this fucking defense blows. This fucking defense—this fucking defense—blows. Blows! Up next: This fucking… defense?… blows. Cheers!
The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: Warsteiner Dunkel Lager The result: Win, 36–33; Rams win, 41–39 The commentary: Football! If I can survive the Rams game (those color-rush yellows were it), with Brian Hoyer (!) evaporating a fourteen-point third-quarter deficit while I remained blissfully unaware until switching over to the NFL Network after Project […]
The game: Patriots at Saints The beer: Riverwalk Storm Door Porter The result: Win, 36–20; Raiders win, 45–20 The commentary: “What album cover banned or censored because of nudity deserved it the most?” I took out the unnecessary comma after “nudity” but resisted rewriting Johnny Keno’s question for him (almost: “Which banned or censored album […]
Week one The game: Chiefs at Patriots The beer: Maine Lunch India Pale Ale The result: Loss, 42–27; Falcons win, 23–17 The commentary: “There goes the no-hitter,” as I would say—every time—in the days when I attended Red Sox games. “Patriots eat shit in front of God and everyone,” says some “unionized” basement-dweller under the […]
The beer: Ipswich Blueberry Shandy The commentary: I dreamed I was Julian Edelman. On the goal line leading 4–2 (!) over the Buccaneers in the Super Bowl or the opening game—there was tension beyond what the scheduled week-four matchup deserves—“Julian” went in motion behind Brady and told him “I want a touchdown!” I/he scooted past […]
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