The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Boothbay Ken Brown Ale The result: Win, 27–14 The record: 9–2 The headline: “You’re like the ocean! Always in motion!” – Lyres, “Stormy” The commentary: It’s a funny thing to root for the Chiefs—especially so when the wished-for outcome might spell your doom two months early. Chiefs vs. […]
Sinclair, Royale, Royale: “You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?” The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale The result: Win, 25–22 The record: 2–6 The headline: “You’ve got Nazi fever!” – Osees, “Cassius, Brutus and Judas” The commentary: Google search results—reliable!—cannot confirm that John Dwyer sings “You’ve got […]
Week two The game: Seahawks at Patriots The beer: Tributary Märzen Oktoberfest Lager The result: Loss, 23–20 The record: 1–1 Week three The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Riverwalk Me & My Dunkel Lager The result: Loss, 24–3 The record: 1–2 The headline: “Oh love, you were a sickly child, and how the wind […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Great Marsh Classic Milk Stout The result: Loss, 17–3 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–13 The headline: “It couldn’t adapt so it couldn’t survive.” – Adverts, “Great British Mistake” The commentary: “Fire Belichick.” It’s been a WordPress tag since October 2021—that writer is pissed—and a sentiment for longer, […]
The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Riverwalk Uncle Bob’s English-Style Bitter Ale The result: Win, 15–10 The method: NFL+ The record: 1–2 The headline: “What could it be? It’s a mirage!” – Beastie Boys, “Sabotage” The commentary: “The Dolphins dropped seventy on the Broncos… how do you like our defense now??” For the most […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Ipswich Brown Square English-Style Brown Ale The result: Win, 10–3 The method: NFL+ The headline: “No one makes me close my eyes.” – Pink Floyd, “Echoes” The commentary: The less said about this one, the better. They should have! They should have made me close my eyes! Rhamondre […]
The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Ommegang All Hallows Treat Imperial Chocolate Peanut Butter Stout The result: Win, 22–17 The method: Live via CBS The headline: “I like to act the part of being tough.” – Yo La Tengo, “Sugarcube” The commentary: Sometimes the universe just wants blog-makers to quote a particular goddamn song […]
Week six The game: Cowboys at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby House Lager The result: Loss, 35–29 The method: Live via Paramount+ Week seven The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: True North Festbier Lager The result: 54–13 The method: Live via CBS The headline: “Will the sun rise up tomorrow?” – Black Sabbath, “Children […]
The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Essex County Illume Pale Ale The result: Win, 25–6 The method: NFL Game Pass The headline: “Never hesitate to take a chump sucker down.” – Ice-T, “Ricochet” The commentary: Say what you will about the playmaking abilities of JC Jackson and the Doublemint-potential of Devin McCourty but a […]
Week sixteen The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: True North Wee Swally Scotch Wee Heavy The result: Loss, 38–9 Week seventeen The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Lakefront Eastside Dark Lager The result: Win, 28–14 The commentary: Where were we? Right: sub five hundred, no playoffs, Brady wins, Newton re-signs (not “resigns”). Sallah […]
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