The game: Patriots at 49ers The beer: Throwback Oatmeal Porter The result: Loss, 30–13 The record: 1–3 The headline: “Sometimes you make me wonder. I get the blues and then I wonder. Who’s the fool, me or you? Sometimes I wonder.” – Impressions, “Sometimes I Wonder” The commentary: I’m the fool, Curtis! Sam, Fred: it’s […]
Week two The game: Seahawks at Patriots The beer: Tributary Märzen Oktoberfest Lager The result: Loss, 23–20 The record: 1–1 Week three The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Riverwalk Me & My Dunkel Lager The result: Loss, 24–3 The record: 1–2 The headline: “Oh love, you were a sickly child, and how the wind […]
Week one The game: Patriots at Bengals The beer: Ipswich Steam Punk Lager The result: Win, 16–10 The record: 1–0 The headline: “Repetition… fearful living.” – Unwound, “Unauthorized Biography” The commentary: I mean, what took me so long? “Journal entry number twenty”—it turns out Unwound could have kicked this whole beer-and-football thing off XIV years […]
Paging Stanley Morgan: “Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why” The beer: Peroni Lager The headline: “I wanna be your favorite dog, baby.” – Andre Williams, “I Wanna Be Your Favorite Pair of Pajamas” The commentary: Today it’s “Day One” asking about respectable athletes, at training camp in early August it was […]
Replicating success: “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” The beer: Harpoon Celtic Red Ale The regular season: 4–13 The playoffs: N/A The headline: “Can you picture what will be?” – Doors, “The End” The commentary: (Continued.) Captain Beefheart’s “Bills Corpse” is a missed opportunity, sure, but Trout Mask Replica and its collection of […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Great Marsh Classic Milk Stout The result: Loss, 17–3 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–13 The headline: “It couldn’t adapt so it couldn’t survive.” – Adverts, “Great British Mistake” The commentary: “Fire Belichick.” It’s been a WordPress tag since October 2021—that writer is pissed—and a sentiment for longer, […]
The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: Hopothecary Sweepnman’s Flu(e) Fix Red Ale The result: Loss, 27–21 The method: Live via Paramount+ The record: 4–12 The headline: “They won’t come around—your king’s a cunt.” – Osees, “Intercepted Message” The commentary: First, I apologize for the four-letter-est of the four-letter words. It’s what a four- or […]
The game: Patriots at Broncos The beer: Riverwalk Peppermint Mocha Porter The result: Win, 26–23 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–11 The headline: “Shit a brick! Drive me crazy! Outta my mind!” – Pussy Galore, “Brick” The commentary: The doink of all doinks—biblically loud to the point of absurdity, betraying either a microphone buried inside […]
The game: Chiefs at Patriots The beer: Earth Eagle Puca Curry Pumpkin Porter The result: Loss, 27–17 The method: NFL+ The record: 3–11 The headline: “Yo, chief administrator, suck my oil.” – Dr. Octagon, “Technical Difficulties” The commentary: Has a team up ten points with minutes remaining in the fourth quarter ever advanced to the […]
The game: Patriots at Steelers The beer: Long Trail Hibernator Ale The result: Win, 21–18 The method: NFL+ The record: 3–10 The headline: “Has the world gone mad or is it me?” – Hawkwind, “Master of the Universe” The commentary: Hawkwind, as related throughout Hawkwind: Days of the Underground—Radical Escapism in the Age of Paranoia, […]
