An epic tragedy: “Have you ever regretted reading a book? Which one and why?” The game: Raiders at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby Post Shift Pilsner The result: Win, 45–17 The record: 3–2 The headline: “Woo! You better watch that man standin’ there pointing the finga, just like a bee gettin’ ready to sting ya.” […]
For my dear inter-net friends who celebrate Animal Crossing, graphic design and your New England Patriots, I give you two hours of effort, one island-ready pattern and countless screenshots to serve as an undo stack. (Also: zero consideration for creating the Pat Patriot logo of my youth. I’d still be going.) Fire up your Switch, […]
Quintessentially me: “Share five things you’re good at” The game: Giants at Patriots The beer: Definitive Contee Kölsch-Style Ale The result: Win, 33–15 The record: 11–2 The headline: “Gather the patriots like days of old! Have no regrets—soon the bodies are cold!” – Fifty Foot Hose, “Red the Sign Post” The commentary: I get the […]
Red pants: “If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?” The beer: Foundation Burnside Brown Ale The regular season: 4–13 The playoffs: N/A The headline: “Well, a rose is a rose is a rose by any other name.” – Railroad Jerk, “One Step Forward” The commentary: Relocate those Foxborough fuckers, […]
I know nothing about football and I know nothing about politics. What I do know is self-editing and, later, resurrection. See? “My relationship with the Biff! Bang! words you’re reading [was] troubled, and if the Pats weren’t such a goddamn winning machine I might have signed off altogether following the Beefheart crowning achievement.” It sucks […]
The beer: Proclamation Derivative Vic Secret Pale Ale The commentary: Some people lose front teeth. Others lose old blog posts. (Transition: smooth.) My relationship with the Biff! Bang! words you’re reading is troubled, and if the Pats weren’t such a goddamn winning machine I might have signed off altogether following the Beefheart crowning achievement. It’s […]
The game: Patriots at Raiders The beer: Notch Saison The result: Win, 31–19 The commentary: I wonder what would have happened if Hank Williams (Jr.) compared Obama to Jesus. Will we ever survive without “Are you ready for some football?!” Forget for a minute that Monday Night Football is no longer all that relevant. Sure, […]
