Un-slack motherfucker: “Tell us one thing you hope people say about you” The beer: Camp Pennant Blackout Barrel-Aged Imperial Stout The record: 11–2 The headline: “It’s never been enough.” – Love Battery, “67” The commentary: People say? Reader(s) say(s)? Here it is: “That dude blogged every goddamn week of the season.” So far, so good […]
Quintessentially me: “Share five things you’re good at” The game: Giants at Patriots The beer: Definitive Contee Kölsch-Style Ale The result: Win, 33–15 The record: 11–2 The headline: “Gather the patriots like days of old! Have no regrets—soon the bodies are cold!” – Fifty Foot Hose, “Red the Sign Post” The commentary: I get the […]
The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Boothbay Ken Brown Ale The result: Win, 27–14 The record: 9–2 The headline: “You’re like the ocean! Always in motion!” – Lyres, “Stormy” The commentary: It’s a funny thing to root for the Chiefs—especially so when the wished-for outcome might spell your doom two months early. Chiefs vs. […]
The game: Patriots at Titans The beer: Liars Bench Pair of Pennies Czech Amber Lager The result: Win, 31–13 The record: 5–2 The headline: “Treason! Treason! The spectre looms again!” – Rainbow, “Kill the King” The commentary: “Kill the king,” you ask? I’m just riffing on my old Nashville Kings bit and celebrating G’s embrace […]
The game: Patriots at Saints The beer: Tree House Patient Rover Munich-Style Dunkel Lager The result: Win, 25–19 The record: 4–2 The headline: “I turn and get by the other way around.” – The Jesus Lizard, “Pop Song” The commentary: Congratulations, friends, on another four-win season! Football is fun again and it only took six […]
The beer: Rockport Pescato Italian Style Pilsner The headline: “I said life stinks! I said I need a drink! I said life stinks! I said life stinks! I said!” – Pere Ubu, “Life Stinks” The commentary: RIP David Thomas—as if Crocus Behemoth wouldn’t go first overall and redefine left tackle dominance. The Patriots stink, right? […]
Red pants: “If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?” The beer: Foundation Burnside Brown Ale The headline: “Well, a rose is a rose is a rose by any other name.” – Railroad Jerk, “One Step Forward” The commentary: Relocate those Foxborough fuckers, shed the heavy-baggage mascot and call them […]
The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby Extra Layer Winter Fest Lager The result: Loss, 40–7 The record: 3–13 The headline: “Tie her hand behind her back and feed her some disguise.” – Boss Hog, “What the Fuck” The commentary: I brought a date to see diary editors Boss Hog at TT the […]
The game: Patriots vs. Jaguars The beer: Riverwalk One-Eyed Jack Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 32–16 The record: 1–6 The headline: “Do you like the way it burns?” – Unwound, “Disappoint” The commentary: So many questions! So much Unwound! So much disappointment! The Future of What—released in April 1995 and recorded (according to the liner […]
Unfit for office: “What principles define how you live?” The game: Dolphins at Patriots The beer: Twisted Fate (The) Other Bubbles Dry Irish Stout The result: Loss, 15–10 The record: 1–4 The headline: “Son of a bitch!” – Van Halen, “One Foot Out the Door” The commentary: The reason for choosing the back half our […]
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