The game: Patriots at Buccaneers The beer: Riverwalk Pumpkin Porter The result: Win, 28–23 The record: 8–2 The headline: “Oooh, it’s so good, it’s so good, it’s so good, it’s so good, it’s sooo goood.” – Donna Summer, “I Feel Love” The commentary: If Tony Romo is down to fuck then who am I to […]
The game: Patriots vs. Jaguars The beer: Riverwalk One-Eyed Jack Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 32–16 The record: 1–6 The headline: “Do you like the way it burns?” – Unwound, “Disappoint” The commentary: So many questions! So much Unwound! So much disappointment! The Future of What—released in April 1995 and recorded (according to the liner […]
Week two The game: Seahawks at Patriots The beer: Tributary Märzen Oktoberfest Lager The result: Loss, 23–20 The record: 1–1 Week three The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Riverwalk Me & My Dunkel Lager The result: Loss, 24–3 The record: 1–2 The headline: “Oh love, you were a sickly child, and how the wind […]
The game: Patriots at Broncos The beer: Riverwalk Peppermint Mocha Porter The result: Win, 26–23 The method: NFL+ The record: 4–11 The headline: “Shit a brick! Drive me crazy! Outta my mind!” – Pussy Galore, “Brick” The commentary: The doink of all doinks—biblically loud to the point of absurdity, betraying either a microphone buried inside […]
The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Riverwalk Uncle Bob’s English-Style Bitter Ale The result: Win, 15–10 The method: NFL+ The record: 1–2 The headline: “What could it be? It’s a mirage!” – Beastie Boys, “Sabotage” The commentary: “The Dolphins dropped seventy on the Broncos… how do you like our defense now??” For the most […]
Week one The game: Patriots at Dolphins The beer: Turtle Swamp JP Porter The result: Loss, 20–7 The method: NFL Game Pass NFL+ The knockout: Steelers win, 23–20 Week two The game: Patriots at Steelers The beer: Moat Mountain Boneshaker Brown Ale The result: Win, 17–14 The method: NFL+ The knockout: Packers win, 27–10 Week […]
The game: Patriots at Texans The beer: Riverwalk Black Ox Dunkel Lager The result: Win, 25–22 The method: NFL Game Pass The headline: “It’s no use! I can’t take no more abuse! I’m tired of fuckin’ lines! Uggghhh, I’m losin’ my mind!” – Black Flag, “I’ve Had It” The commentary: Enough. By definition or not, […]
Week one The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: Clown Shoes Rexx Imperial Red Ale The result: Win, 27–20; Titans/Jarrod lose (times four), 27–20 Week two The game: Patriots at Jaguars The beer: 603 NH Ale The result: Loss, 31–20 Week three The game: Patriots at Lions The beer: Riverwalk Cash Bus Pale Ale The […]
The game: Patriots at Saints The beer: Riverwalk Storm Door Porter The result: Win, 36–20; Raiders win, 45–20 The commentary: “What album cover banned or censored because of nudity deserved it the most?” I took out the unnecessary comma after “nudity” but resisted rewriting Johnny Keno’s question for him (almost: “Which banned or censored album […]
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