The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: True North Scale Breaker Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 41–21 The record: 1–5 The headline: “[Needle drop.] In case of a nuclear attack.” – Man… or Astro-Man? “Maximum Radiation Level” The commentary: “Delete the ellipsis all you want… I will put it back.” You’re goddamn right. The needle […]
The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: True North Sweater Weather Maple Smoked Porter The result: Win, 29–25 The method: Live via Paramount+ The record: 2–5 The headline: “I’ve made mistakes that I’m sure I’ll make again.” – Mudhoney, “Good Enough” The commentary: A win against a superior division rival is a wonderful thing. What […]
Week sixteen The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: Zero Gravity Extra Stout The result: Loss, 33–21 The method: NFL Game Pass Week seventeen The game: Jaguars at Patriots The beer: True North Dark Lantern Oatmeal Stout The result: Win, 50–10 The method: NFL Game Pass Week eighteen The game: Patriots at Dolphins The beer: […]
The game: Patriots at Colts The beer: True North Midnight Snow Black India Pale Ale The result: Loss, 27–17 The method: Live via Paramount+ The headline: “Stand on rocks that once were buildings.” – Osees Thee Oh Sees, “You Will Find It Here” The commentary: Observe and rue what remains of a destroyed past, eh? […]
Week nine The game: Patriots at Panthers The beer: 603 Toasted Pumpkin Ale The result: Win, 24–6 The method: NFL Game Pass Week ten The game: Browns at Patriots The beer: True North Endangered Ale The result: Win, 45–7 The method: Live via Paramount+ The headline: “Shame on the brain, that’s right!” – Six Finger […]
Week six The game: Cowboys at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby House Lager The result: Loss, 35–29 The method: Live via Paramount+ Week seven The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: True North Festbier Lager The result: 54–13 The method: Live via CBS The headline: “Will the sun rise up tomorrow?” – Black Sabbath, “Children […]
The game: Buccaneers at Patriots The beer: True North Coco-Nilla-Zilla Stout The result: Loss, 19–17 The method: Live via Peacock The headline: “There’s something here that doesn’t last too long.” – Nazz, “Hello It’s Me” The commentary: Adele, eh? I see her and raise (the) Nazz, admitting “Hello It’s Me” isn’t a great song despite […]
Week sixteen The game: Bills at Patriots The beer: True North Wee Swally Scotch Wee Heavy The result: Loss, 38–9 Week seventeen The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Lakefront Eastside Dark Lager The result: Win, 28–14 The commentary: Where were we? Right: sub five hundred, no playoffs, Brady wins, Newton re-signs (not “resigns”). Sallah […]
Week eight The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: North Coast Old Stock Ale The result: Loss, 24–21 Week nine The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Oak & Iron Wacko Jacko Dark Pumpkin Ale The result: Win, 30–27 Week ten The game: Ravens at Patriots The beer: Liars Bench Cut-Off Schwartz Dark Lager The […]
The game: Raiders at Patriots The beer: True North Black Is Beautiful Imperial Stout The result: Win, 36–20 The knockout: Colts win, 36–7 The commentary: “It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character almost every other country in the world has learned to fear and despise.” […]
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