You gotta have fear in your heart

Welcome back to May, dear friend and reader! Is this better? Are you again comfortable? Are you even there? Welcome, also, to another round of Remember When? as I parse my own archives. Last year’s Volume 10 was that in spades, compiling a Best of Me on the way to six thousand more words. I […]

Hey, how do I know, Connie?

This might be a June thing from now on. “June thirtieth” has a nice ring to it. June thirtieth, June thirtieth, noon girly plinth, poon whirling myth… let’s keep this short. (Too late.) If someone had told me in August 2005 when I drafted my first post—which had no resemblance whatsoever to what is purported […]

Beer and football VII — week thirteen

The game: Rams at Patriots The beer: Ipswich Riverbend Pilsner The result: Win, 26–10 The commentary: Last week, before the sad talk, I really got into it with potential tiebreaker scenarios for my ex-knockout pool. The raving led to a “Rooting for ties!” ecstasy that betrayed its improvised roots earlier in the same sentence. You […]

Beer and football VII — week twelve

The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Two Roads Roadsmary’s Baby Ale The result: Win, 22–17; Seahawks/Jarrod lose, 14–5 The commentary: Fourteen to five? Five? In which our hero tests whether or not “There’s nothing I can do about Russell Wilson having an off day” is a philosophy he still trusts. I am. Hard to […]

Beer and football VII — week ten

The game: Seahawks at Patriots The beer: Heavy Seas Greater Pumpkin Imperial Ale The result: Loss, 31–24; Cardinals win, 23–20 The commentary: More pictures of my girl, please! I didn’t go black last week because the Pats lost. They didn’t even play. No, I mourned another loss or, more accurately, a non-win. Maybe the minority […]

Beer and football VII — week nine (bye)

The beer: Clown Shoes Third-Party Candidate India Pale Lager The result: Chiefs win, 19–14; Trump wins, 304–227–7 The commentary: This is my two hundredth post. I am close to dropping an overdue essay regarding the importance of Trout Mask Replica (currently headlined “Tight also”), having reserved its epic for a weighty round number, but it […]

What the shit was and what wasn’t the shit

There are forty-eight planets and moons in our solar system and one hundred ninety-five visible stars in the universe. And there it is. Longtime readers (!) tripped up by last year’s abbreviated playlist, tallying “only” thirty-six songs at a brisk two and three-quarter hours—and down almost three thousand words from 2014—will surely find comfort in […]