Beer and football XVI — week eight

The game: Browns at Patriots The beer: Fat Orange Cat Pumpkin Spice Latte Oatmeal Stout The result: Win, 32–13 The record: 6–2 The headline: “I see your number, it’s a flashing sign.” – Ty Segall, “Who Are You” The commentary: New England football is back and so too is Idiot Patriots Fandom, the kind where […]

Beer and football XVI — week seven

The game: Patriots at Titans The beer: Liars Bench Pair of Pennies Czech Amber Lager The result: Win, 31–13 The record: 5–2 The headline: “Treason! Treason! The spectre looms again!” – Rainbow, “Kill the King” The commentary: “Kill the king,” you ask? I’m just riffing on my old Nashville Kings bit and celebrating G’s embrace […]

Beer and football XVI — week five

At Bills: “When was the first time you really felt like a grown-up (if ever)?” The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: Corner Point Down the Hatch Amber Ale The result: Win, 23–20 The record: 3–2 The headline: “It tickle me down to my toe-oes!” – The Velvet Underground, “White Light/White Heat” The commentary: I’m […]

Beer and football XVI — training camp

The beer: Silvaticus Rex Czech Pale Lager The headline: “Don’t keep on tellin’ me everything’s OK, ’cause if it was then you wouldn’t be cryin’.” – Latimore, “Let’s Straighten It Out” The commentary: Latimore laid it all out during G’s and my hour-plus drive to Foxborough this week, with sentiment that could apply to two […]

Beer and football XVI — the draft

The beer: Rockport Pescato Italian Style Pilsner The headline: “I said life stinks! I said I need a drink! I said life stinks! I said life stinks! I said!” – Pere Ubu, “Life Stinks” The commentary: RIP David Thomas—as if Crocus Behemoth wouldn’t go first overall and redefine left tackle dominance. The Patriots stink, right? […]

Beer and football XV — week seventeen

The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby Extra Layer Winter Fest Lager The result: Loss, 40–7 The record: 3–13 The headline: “Tie her hand behind her back and feed her some disguise.” – Boss Hog, “What the Fuck” The commentary: I brought a date to see diary editors Boss Hog at TT the […]

Beer and football XV — week six

The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: True North Scale Breaker Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 41–21 The record: 1–5 The headline: “[Needle drop.] In case of a nuclear attack.” – Man… or Astro-Man? “Maximum Radiation Level” The commentary: “Delete the ellipsis all you want… I will put it back.” You’re goddamn right. The needle […]