Beer and football XVI — training camp

The beer: Silvaticus Rex Czech Pale Lager The headline: “Don’t keep on tellin’ me everything’s OK, ’cause if it was then you wouldn’t be cryin’.” – Latimore, “Let’s Straighten It Out” The commentary: Latimore laid it all out during G’s and my hour-plus drive to Foxborough this week, with sentiment that could apply to two […]

Beer and football XVI — the draft

The beer: Rockport Pescato Italian Style Pilsner The headline: “I said life stinks! I said I need a drink! I said life stinks! I said life stinks! I said!” – Pere Ubu, “Life Stinks” The commentary: RIP David Thomas—as if Crocus Behemoth wouldn’t go first overall and redefine left tackle dominance. The Patriots stink, right? […]

Beer and football XV — week seventeen

The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby Extra Layer Winter Fest Lager The result: Loss, 40–7 The record: 3–13 The headline: “Tie her hand behind her back and feed her some disguise.” – Boss Hog, “What the Fuck” The commentary: I brought a date to see diary editors Boss Hog at TT the […]

Beer and football XV — week six

The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: True North Scale Breaker Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 41–21 The record: 1–5 The headline: “[Needle drop.] In case of a nuclear attack.” – Man… or Astro-Man? “Maximum Radiation Level” The commentary: “Delete the ellipsis all you want… I will put it back.” You’re goddamn right. The needle […]

Beer and football XV — week five

Unfit for office: “What principles define how you live?” The game: Dolphins at Patriots The beer: Twisted Fate (The) Other Bubbles Dry Irish Stout The result: Loss, 15–10 The record: 1–4 The headline: “Son of a bitch!” – Van Halen, “One Foot Out the Door” The commentary: The reason for choosing the back half our […]

Beer and football XV — week four

The game: Patriots at 49ers The beer: Throwback Oatmeal Porter The result: Loss, 30–13 The record: 1–3 The headline: “Sometimes you make me wonder. I get the blues and then I wonder. Who’s the fool, me or you? Sometimes I wonder.” – Impressions, “Sometimes I Wonder” The commentary: I’m the fool, Curtis! Sam, Fred: it’s […]