Red pants: “If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?” The beer: Foundation Burnside Brown Ale The headline: “Well, a rose is a rose is a rose by any other name.” – Railroad Jerk, “One Step Forward” The commentary: Relocate those Foxborough fuckers, shed the heavy-baggage mascot and call them […]
The game: Chargers at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby Extra Layer Winter Fest Lager The result: Loss, 40–7 The record: 3–13 The headline: “Tie her hand behind her back and feed her some disguise.” – Boss Hog, “What the Fuck” The commentary: I brought a date to see diary editors Boss Hog at TT the […]
Week nine The game: Patriots at Titans The beer: Notch Kölsch Cologne-Style Ale The result: Loss, 20–17 The record: 2–7 Week ten The game: Patriots at Bears The beer: Newburyport 110 Copper Ale The result: Win, 19–3 The record: 3–7 Week eleven The game: Rams at Patriots The beer: Night Shift Dunkel John’s Band Lager […]
Sinclair, Royale, Royale: “You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?” The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale The result: Win, 25–22 The record: 2–6 The headline: “You’ve got Nazi fever!” – Osees, “Cassius, Brutus and Judas” The commentary: Google search results—reliable!—cannot confirm that John Dwyer sings “You’ve got […]
The game: Patriots vs. Jaguars The beer: Riverwalk One-Eyed Jack Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 32–16 The record: 1–6 The headline: “Do you like the way it burns?” – Unwound, “Disappoint” The commentary: So many questions! So much Unwound! So much disappointment! The Future of What—released in April 1995 and recorded (according to the liner […]
The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: True North Scale Breaker Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 41–21 The record: 1–5 The headline: “[Needle drop.] In case of a nuclear attack.” – Man… or Astro-Man? “Maximum Radiation Level” The commentary: “Delete the ellipsis all you want… I will put it back.” You’re goddamn right. The needle […]
Unfit for office: “What principles define how you live?” The game: Dolphins at Patriots The beer: Twisted Fate (The) Other Bubbles Dry Irish Stout The result: Loss, 15–10 The record: 1–4 The headline: “Son of a bitch!” – Van Halen, “One Foot Out the Door” The commentary: The reason for choosing the back half our […]
The game: Patriots at 49ers The beer: Throwback Oatmeal Porter The result: Loss, 30–13 The record: 1–3 The headline: “Sometimes you make me wonder. I get the blues and then I wonder. Who’s the fool, me or you? Sometimes I wonder.” – Impressions, “Sometimes I Wonder” The commentary: I’m the fool, Curtis! Sam, Fred: it’s […]
Week two The game: Seahawks at Patriots The beer: Tributary Märzen Oktoberfest Lager The result: Loss, 23–20 The record: 1–1 Week three The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Riverwalk Me & My Dunkel Lager The result: Loss, 24–3 The record: 1–2 The headline: “Oh love, you were a sickly child, and how the wind […]
Week one The game: Patriots at Bengals The beer: Ipswich Steam Punk Lager The result: Win, 16–10 The record: 1–0 The headline: “Repetition… fearful living.” – Unwound, “Unauthorized Biography” The commentary: I mean, what took me so long? “Journal entry number twenty”—it turns out Unwound could have kicked this whole beer-and-football thing off XIV years […]
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