Scene: it’s autumn. Route 1 along the North Shore (title case) of Massachusetts—rather, “Old Route 1,” to distinguish it from the stretch with strip clubs and furniture outlets and orange dinosaurs. The scenic portion with private schools and shuttered restaurants and blind intersections that almost kill you (truth). Radio: on. “Fire” by the Crazy World […]
Week nine The game: Colts at Patriots The beer: Channel Marker Losing Daylight Dark Mild Ale The result: Win, 26–3 The method: Live via Paramount+ Week ten (bye) The beer: Hopothecary Bavarian Analgesic Märzen-Style Ale The headline: “Flush you like my toilet!” – ESG, “Erase You” The commentary: G. played me Ray Parker (Jr.)’s “Ghostbusters” […]
“We have a Switch??” Nothing gets past a nine-year-old (at the time) and thus last April’s school-vacation surprise was blown. That’s what I get for assuming consumer discretionaries can’t creep their way into kids’ awareness in the age of commercial-less streaming. That’s what I get for making no effort whatsoever to hide the distinctive red […]
I know nothing about football and I know nothing about politics. What I do know is self-editing and, later, resurrection. See? “My relationship with the Biff! Bang! words you’re reading [was] troubled, and if the Pats weren’t such a goddamn winning machine I might have signed off altogether following the Beefheart crowning achievement.” It sucks […]
The game: Patriots at Colts The beer: True North Midnight Snow Black India Pale Ale The result: Loss, 27–17 The method: Live via Paramount+ The headline: “Stand on rocks that once were buildings.” – Osees Thee Oh Sees, “You Will Find It Here” The commentary: Observe and rue what remains of a destroyed past, eh? […]
The game: Patriots at Chargers The beer: Allagash Haunted House Dark Ale The result: Win, 27–24 The method: NFL Game Pass The headline: “I’m a mummay! I scahr people! Watch what happuns! When I walk up to someboday!” – The Fall, “The Mummy” The commentary: Apologies to Bob McFadden and Rod “Dor” McKuen, whose 1959 […]
Week six The game: Cowboys at Patriots The beer: Jack’s Abby House Lager The result: Loss, 35–29 The method: Live via Paramount+ Week seven The game: Jets at Patriots The beer: True North Festbier Lager The result: 54–13 The method: Live via CBS The headline: “Will the sun rise up tomorrow?” – Black Sabbath, “Children […]
Expectations cannot help themselves. Sometimes, as during a post-Trump era of adults running the show, science and public health are regarded with respect and decisions are made in order to, you know, not let hundreds of thousands of us die. So any president after Trump would be and has been an improvement. For instance, expectations […]
Week eight The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: North Coast Old Stock Ale The result: Loss, 24–21 Week nine The game: Patriots at Jets The beer: Oak & Iron Wacko Jacko Dark Pumpkin Ale The result: Win, 30–27 Week ten The game: Ravens at Patriots The beer: Liars Bench Cut-Off Schwartz Dark Lager The […]
The game: Broncos at Patriots Unscheduled bye The beer: Simpler Times Lager The knockout: Cowboys win, 37–34 The commentary: In other words, the coronavirus defeated hubris and covered the spread by a mile. Simpler times are fading fast. Maybe the Pats and Titans should face off every week and pull in other teams (the Falcons?) […]
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