The game: Patriots at Bills The beer: Von Trapp Dunkel Dark Lager The result: Win, 29–26 The record: 2–2 The headline: “Honey, I wanna hear my name.” – (The) Gossip, “Got Body If You Want It” The commentary: With all of last week’s “DMX” talk I forgot our quarterback already has a nickname: Drake “Drake […]
Just see what you’ve done: “Have you ever liked a villain more than the hero? Who and why?” Week one The game: Patriots at Seahawks The beer: Riverwalk Legato Italian Pilsner The result: Loss, 13–10 The record: 0–1 The headline: “She was right in the rain of the bullets that eventually brought her down.” – […]
The beer: Camp Pennant Bear Bag Brown Ale The headline: “You know you’re semi-good lookin’.” – Van Halen, “Ain’t Talkin’ ’Bout Love” The commentary: Look, I just can’t keep up with unemployed me from a year ago. The draft, training camp, preseason competition, roster cutdowns, all with their own posts? Fuhgeddaboudit. This reminds me of […]
Can it, Handy: “What’s a song lyric that has stuck with you forever?” The beer: Marshall Wharf Salud Mexican Lager The headline: “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Why don’t ya!” – Stranglers, “Shut Up” The commentary: I got dem ol’ critical heat blues again, mama! Patriots have record-breaking contract offer on the […]
The game: Browns at Patriots The beer: Fat Orange Cat Pumpkin Spice Latte Oatmeal Stout The result: Win, 32–13 The record: 6–2 The headline: “I see your number, it’s a flashing sign.” – Ty Segall, “Who Are You” The commentary: New England football is back and so too is Idiot Patriots Fandom, the kind where […]
The beer: Rockport Pescato Italian Style Pilsner The headline: “I said life stinks! I said I need a drink! I said life stinks! I said life stinks! I said!” – Pere Ubu, “Life Stinks” The commentary: RIP David Thomas—as if Crocus Behemoth wouldn’t go first overall and redefine left tackle dominance. The Patriots stink, right? […]
The game: Texans at Patriots The beer: True North Scale Breaker Pumpkin Ale The result: Loss, 41–21 The record: 1–5 The headline: “[Needle drop.] In case of a nuclear attack.” – Man… or Astro-Man? “Maximum Radiation Level” The commentary: “Delete the ellipsis all you want… I will put it back.” You’re goddamn right. The needle […]
