The game: Dolphins at Patriots
The beer: Offshore Menemsha Creek Pale Ale
The result: Win, 28–0
The commentary: The shutout is a rare thing in professional football. The Patriots haven’t done it since Shawn Springs, Adalius Thomas and Brandon Meriweather were making a mockery of things in 2009. It was as much a surprise then as it was this season—how did a defense featuring Kyle Arrington and (albeit in a limited role) Patrick Chung give up zero points? These are the things that people don’t worry about until their team gives up too many yards in the biggest game of the year—that is, whatever the final playoff game happens to be.

I remain afraid of what this defense is capable of, of the kinds of holes they have the potential to dig. Of a performance so appalling that even Tom Brady (or, if you live anywhere else in the country, “superior quarterbacks” Aaron Rodgers or Peyton Manning) can’t score enough points. These guys will go a little bit as far as the defense can carry it and then the whole rest of the way as far as Brady can. Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal or much to have to rely upon, but if those first couple of miles consist of two bald tires, poor radio reception and no Dunkins drive-thru then it’s a tough trip to salvage.

Also… I read a few times since that the Pats apparently got off to a quick start in this one? They went scoreless in the first two drives only to capitalize, at last, following a Steve Gregory interception. That’s great, maybe most teams are happy waiting so long to score. But this team? This quarterback? I can’t believe they were too pleased to “turn the corner” in this way after lackluster early efforts against San Francisco and Jacksonville. The easiest media gig in this region is to ride the exaggerated highs and lows of covering Belichick—“He’s the best ever!” “He’s a prick!” Rick Pitino was right when he said “all the negativity in this town sucks.” (He was also right when he said “You’re goddamn right I boned her! Right on the table!”) But he never said anything about the positivity these people manufacture. Sickening levels of positivity, Glenn Ordway positivity. The kind of positivity that insults you as a fan. “Don’t bother to play the games, just send them to New Orleans.” The complete opposite of analysis.

Thing is, you don’t have to make anything up! They won when winning was important, when it gave them a week off and a home playoff game (at least). Gronkowski is back and the offensive line and receiving group have an extra week to get healthy. The regular season ended on a high note against a division foe, the “this team won’t win four games” Dolphins. “They peaked too early” might just have been a boneheaded invention of Boston Globe columnists and 98.5 radio hosts in order for them to more easily look down their noses at the 49ers loss. In two weekends we’ll host either the Ravens (one of the more competitive losses in recent non-Super Bowl memory), the Colts (a laugher that wasn’t even as close as the blow-out score indicated) or the Texans (total domination) and I like our chances against the lot of them.

One more negative though: the Menemsha Creek out of Martha’s Vineyard wasn’t very good. I recommend jumping over to Nantucket for some Cisco Whale’s Tale instead.

Up next: Can you believe there still isn’t a safety gate between the kitchen and the dining room? Happy new year!