The beer: Boulder Mojo India Pale Ale
The commentary: Twenty-one beers with one more to go. Let’s recap by relating each week’s selection to a player on this year’s Patriots. Smell the contrivance!
1. Berkshire Saint of Circumstance India Pale Ale – Tom Brady
Most valuable. I’d start the season with no other.
2. Rogue Mocha Porter – Andre Carter
A. being all “Are you gonna drink that or what??” was the equivalent of fans (and media) clamoring for a pass-rushing force. Sorry he won’t be on the field this weekend.
3. Clown Shoes Lubrication American Black Ale – Chad Ochocinco
Lots of noise and controversy over something that didn’t work out very well. “Ochocinco” is Spanish for “debased ethnic whore.”
4. Notch Saison – Nate Solder
Notch’s session beers were a nice discovery of mine. High level of quality but not as strong as you might prefer, like my man Nate. Luckily power is something Solder can achieve “at the NFL level” over the next couple of years.
5. Pretty Things Hedgerow Bitter – Rob Gronkowski
Remember 2010’s draft, with the scramble at the top of the second round as the Pats jumped ahead of the Ravens at the last second to snag Gronkowski? Very similar to that asshole who I thought took the last Hedgerow.
6. Berkshire Oktoberfest Lager – Rob Ninkovich
Octoberfest beers usually serve as overlooked role players—never elite but often satisfying. Sound familiar?
7. Samuel Adams Boston Lager – BenJarvus Green-Ellis
There is no beer I take for granted more so than Boston Lager. With every first sip I’m all “Goddamn, this is a great beer.” Always reliable, just like the Law Firm. Watching him bust it up the other day was extremely rewarding.
8. Cambridge Great Pumpkin Ale – Deion Branch
Pumpkin beers have a limited shelf life but when it’s on, it’s on. Branch (my daughter’s favorite player) plays every game and rarely gets noticed but when he’s on, he’s on.
9. Blue Hills Imperial Red India Pale Ale – Brandon Spikes
Spikes must have pounded one of these nine-percent-alcohol monsters before donning that pink suit. Whatever it takes, man.
10. Haverhill GestAlt German-Style Brown Ale – Sebastian Vollmer
I wasted some of this bomber after it spewed all over the kitchen. Meanwhile, “The Texan Kraut” wasted a roster spot most of the season by playing like four games. Hopefully he makes a strong comeback Sunday, or at least plays a single down.
11. Stone Smoked Porter – Stevan Ridley
Very tempting early (Raider game), disappeared awhile, came back strong and then was inactive after too many fumbles. A smoked porter was mine for a few minutes during 2010’s yankee swap but was taken away, so I got one of my own this year. Then I got drunk and A. made me a healthy scratch from baby duty.
12. Ipswich Oatmeal Stout – Wes Welker
Awesome but underappreciated. Why don’t I drink this more often? Pay the man!
13. Just Beer Moby D American Ale – Kyle Arrington
Arrington led the league in interceptions by being in the right place at the right time as balls were thrown or tipped straight to him. And that Mansfield-area liquor store was definitely in the right place at the right time as we drove south to a family get-together and I was sans six pack. I snagged the Moby D there as well.
14. Berkshire Steel Rail Extra Pale Ale – Jerod Mayo
The Steel Rail is fine but not as good as I remember from my days in the 413. Similarly, you can count on Mayo to lead the team in tackles every week but he’ll never leave his mark on a game like Ray Lewis or Patrick Willis.
15. People’s Pint Scotch Ale – Brian Waters
Good thing we picked up Waters mere seconds before the first game of the season, much like my out-of-the-way discovery of this delicious Scotch ale I didn’t realize I needed. Wonderful stories, both.
16. Ipswich 20th Anniversary Imperial Pale Ale – Patrick Chung
It felt like Chung hadn’t played for twenty years but he eventually came back strong and (possibly) revitalized the defense. Please strike this from the record if Eli throws for three hundred.
17. Samuel Adams Vixen Chocolate Chili Bock Lager – Aaron Hernandez
Another high-alcohol beer that probably killed a few brain cells. Lots of flavor, versatility and humor in each of these.
18. Founders Porter – Vince Wilfork
Premium beer—only four bottles per pack, in honor of Big Vince consistently playing all four downs throughout the season.
19. Slumbrew Porter Square Porter – Devin McCourty
High expectations, but among the more disappointing beer- or football-related things all season. Hopefully McCourty can bounce back with a solid Super Bowl performance and Slumbrew can redeem itself when I inevitably try its in-development “Beetlejuice” ale.
20. Shipyard Double Old Thumper Ale – Matt Light
Seems like no one should have to take on so many double thumpers in a season: Demarcus Ware, James Harrison, Dwight Freeney, Brian Orakpo, Elvis Dumervil (twice), Terrell Suggs and all those Giant bruisers (twice!). Undoubtedly his finest season.
21. Boulder Mojo India Pale Ale – Kyle Love
Love? Mojo? I’m stretching. But my man Kyle is one of those low-round/undrafted guys who comes in and plays like a second rounder. A no-nonsense football player, like this no-nonsense cask brew I got at Cambridge Common the other night, though Love might be a tad larger than thirteen ounces per pour.
Tonight I’ll head to Vinnin Liquors to get the Super Bowl beer. Exciting! I’m keeping an open mind but will probably aim for an expensive, highly rated stout—thankfully I have Beer Advocate bookmarked on my phone. Regarding the contest itself, I think the Pats take six of ten games against these guys, and since they’ve already lost to them once this season the odds of winning in Indy increase to sixty-seven percent. I’ll take it: 28–17, good guys.
Up next: XLVI. Go Pats!