The game: Colts at Patriots
The beer: Just Beer Moby D American Ale
The result: Win, 31–24
The commentary: Like the Pittsburgh game, only the exact opposite, this one was nowhere near as close as the final score indicated. Brady, Welker and Gronkowski were doing every single thing against the Colts that they wanted to do.

I’m sort of glad all the “Lo, a defense e’er soaring!” talk around here can be put to rest. This is the same secondary that has sucked lemons all season long: they are not communicating better, they are not imposing their will upon horrible opposing quarterbacks, they are not talented. They are not improving. The three unanswered Colt touchdowns in the fourth quarter were killers once you consider an onside kick was a real possibility, and the one time Belichick decided against keeping his foot on the gas (disputing the “Anything can happen in this league, would you rather we kicked field goals?” speech he gives every time he’s accused of running up the score) nearly came back to bite him. Sorry Hoyer, but you might not play another snap this season.

In an effort to save a little money—babies are expensive!—last week we downgraded our Fios cable television package to a lower tier. In the process we lost some channels we don’t care about (couldn’t tell you what they are), some that I really liked but, in retrospect, didn’t watch too often (Palladia, HDNet) and some that really, really hurt (The NFL Network and Cloo). Sigh. I guess I’ll survive because the only show I really watched on NFL was Sound FX and those clips are always made available on NFL.com, which isn’t yet blocked at work, and that’s good because (of course) Brady and Belichick were featured this week. I just watched the clip while eating my overpriced (overpriced… gak!… so long, Taylor Price, you were absolutely wasted here) sandwich and it’s wonderful to see how competitive Brady is at all times, even during a bloodbath. “That’s three fourth-quarter touchdowns.” This wasn’t a slam on his offense not keeping up—it’s a sign that he might just murder McCourty and friends by the time the playoffs roll around.

G., as you can see, wasn’t too good in keeping me company during the game. She asked me to put her down at halftime so she could nap during the rest of “this laugher” (her words) and that way I didn’t have to awkwardly hold her and a giant beer mug at the same time. I cracked open the ale as the fourth quarter was starting (1:00 games almost feel strange now) and thought it was pretty good. I picked it up the previous weekend on the way to my uncle’s. Just Beer also had a “‘Not Pumpkin’ Ale,” an admittedly failed attempt at a pumpkin ale that turned out to be more of a pale ale. I’ll remember it for next year because I’m officially stocked for the last four games of the regular season… and not beyond this time!

In 2010 I was late with a Christmas mini-playlist so I’ll throw one up now with plenty of time for readers (!) to get sick of Christmas music. This is in honor of my company’s holiday party at the InterContinental Hotel next week. It’s right next door, and walking to work yesterday I noticed the logo resembles a giant vagina. Tell me I’m wrong.

(In other questionable signage news, the Subway restaurant attached to the convenience store a few blocks from my house has apparently gone rogue and changed its name to “Sub Day.” It’s a plain white and red sign that must have cost five bucks. Hilarious.)

Season’s Greetings From the InterContinental VaGina
1. Perry Como – CHRISTMAS
I played my family’s Perry Como Sings Merry Christmas Music record to death every December during my childhood. I still love it, right down to subconsciously layering the old skips and pops onto my soulless Perry Como MP3s. I mean the MP3 format has no soul, not Perry Como. Well maybe both.

2. The Treacherous Three – Xmas Rap
“That ain’t a GI Joe, that’s a GI Jerk with a kung-fu grip that don’t even work. So all I did was just put him away cuz my GI Joe looked GI Gay.”

3. Rotary Connection – Silent Night (Chant)
Reissued Peace from 1968. The “Chant” qualification must only be there to distinguish from the “regular” and the “instrumental” versions of “Silent Night” on the album. As if there aren’t enough Christmas songs to cover.

4. Beatles – Pantomime (Everywhere It’s Christmas)
“No need to worry, Jasper. [Turns page.]” I thought they’d run out of paper? From their 1966 fan-club Christmas record. This and the following year’s “Christmas Time (Is Here Again)” are my favorites—both are nicely produced collages that stand out against the charming novelty of the first three records and the withdrawn, sour last two. Incidentally, I always thought that was George Harrison doing a Tiny Tim impression on the ’68 record but Wikipedia and other sources tell me it’s really Tiny Tim. I remain unconvinced.

5. Victoria Spivey – Christmas Morning Blues
One of many highlights from the essential Blues, Blues Christmas. This compilation is repetitive and probably too long but so are the holidays, right?

Up next: The Pats travel to our nation’s capital to visit museums for free and see if there’s any truth to the rumor that Mike Shanahan is an overrated football coach. (He is.) Cheers!