The game: Patriots at Dolphins
The beer: Marshall Wharf Dann’s Bucket List Vienna Lager
The result: Win, 24–19
The record: 5–3
The headline: “Texas is the reason that the president’s dead!” – Misfits, “Bullet”
The commentary: Notes on a blow-out and the week leading to it:
I’m sorry, but Built to Stand Still Spill in Portland was boring. I haven’t listened to them much since the nineteen hundreds, with Keep It Like a Secret in heavy rotation driving to this and that post-college wedding—Bill Belichick’s lack of several plans notwithstanding—and it didn’t help that half the band’s set came from this millennium. Doug Martsch didn’t work hard to win me over, either, basically unwavering in a stereotypical shoegaze pose for ninety minutes, a muttered “Thanks” to the crowd every other song. I drove north on a Saturday night for this? Doug was handicapped following the Osees in another goddamn state ten days earlier but, come on, give me something to keep me stimulated while driving home at eighty miles an hour on a straight and numbing I-95.
I’m glad I made a point of arriving in time for opener Quasi, a band I hadn’t heard much from despite their connection to Sleater-Kinney, Wild Flag and Elliott Smith. They won the night even before Sam Coomes directed us to “Go vote soon, unless you’re a Republican” as they exited the stage. Right on. A catalog worth exploring.
I doubt Danny Amendola was there, looking slightly uphill toward the stage, to take Sam’s advice—luckily his vote, whether cast in Texas, Massachusetts or at all, was overwhelmed by the good guys.
Scoop: Trump enlists football stars for final midterm push in Texas
Former college football star Johnny Manziel and two-time Super Bowl champion Danny Amendola were scheduled to join Trump for campaign appearances in Lubbock and Corpus Christi.
That’s good company! Only the most stable of geniuses.
Former University of Texas quarterback Colt McCoy also was expected to join Trump as of Monday afternoon, but did not appear.
Oopsie! Remember the “Danny Playoff” nickname that never really stuck? Not because it wasn’t accurate but because it was the most basic nickname possible… whose idea was that?
Rob Gronkowski spoke out to deny claims that he and [girlfriend] Camille Kostek were supporting Turning Point USA on Election Day. On Tuesday, Gronkowski and Kostek were seen greeting fans at a polling place in New Hampshire. The former tight end signed jerseys and posed for photos at a tent with the Turning Point USA logo.
Seems pretty straightforward. Can we assume he would have made the same decision were there swastikas on the tent? Or pictures of Somali-Americans?
[…] On Thursday, Gronkowski took to Instagram to shut down the claims he was there to support the conservative organization.
“It has been upsetting and eye opening to see the narratives around my visit to NH on Election Day with Camille,” Gronkowski said, confirming, “In regard to the images and videos circulating we are not endorsed by or affiliated with Turning Point USA.” He explained, “After stopping at Goffstown high school we crossed the street to greet excited fans yelling out our names before leaving to the next location. We simply took some pictures and I signed some things for them before leaving.”
The former NFL star said he and his girlfriend “took photos with people across the political spectrum throughout that morning” and added, “We cannot control what the media has made of it and running with—so we are here to shut down the false narratives.” Gronkowski said it’s “disappointing to see an innocent moment stripped of context and turned into clickbait,” before concluding his statement with: “Our message has always been and always will be to treat everyone with kindness and hope you all will do the same.”
Emphasis mine—I forgot this was Charlie Kirk’s mission all along. Anyway, we could use some players with the skills if not the total bullshit of Gronk and Amendola, as the result in Miami was closer than necessary. That’s OK. I’ll take fifty-four, -five or -six senators in return. 🌊
And we can’t forget This Week’s Sign the Buffalo Bills Are Fucking Toast!Josh Allen going for his 102nd win counting playoffs, more than Tom Brady’s first nine seasons
By his ninth season in the NFL, Tom Brady had won three Super Bowls and had an undefeated regular season, so it’s surprising that any quarterback could win more games than Brady did in his first nine years in the league.
Brady won a hundred one starts, including both the regular season and the postseason, in his first nine seasons. Bills quarterback Josh Allen also has a hundred one wins counting the playoffs, so if the Bills beat the Ravens today, Allen will have a hundred two wins, one more than Brady’s total in his first nine seasons.
[…] Allen has won ninety-three regular-season games and eight postseason games in his career. Brady won eighty-seven regular-season games and fourteen postseason games in his first nine seasons.
It’s worth noting that Brady didn’t start at all in his rookie season, and only started one game in his ninth season, suffering a season-ending knee injury in week one. Allen started eleven games as a rookie, winning five, and has only missed one game since becoming the Bills’ starter.
Allen is racking up an impressive career résumé, even as he still hasn’t done is what Brady did more than anyone else in NFL history: get to, and win, a Super Bowl.
Ignoring the fact—and Mike Florio’s ignoring of the fact—that Brady’s first nine regular seasons consisted of sixteen games while six of Allen’s came after the expansion to seventeen… eh, never mind. I don’t need to get into playoff success, championship success, etc., since that’s suggested above. Oh well. NY26 reelected the fucking Democrat, so we’ll let them have this one. 🌊🌊
Up next: Tom Brady drops publicly broadcasted F-bombs all over the stadium he helped build. Cheers!
