Put on the readers: “What do you think is the future of AI?”
The game: Patriots at Bears
The beer: Whalers Rise American Pale Ale
The result: Loss, 30–24
The record: 4–3
The headline: “And the ticking of the clock and the ringing of the stars lose all meaning now.” – Thee Oh Sees, “Sticky Hulks”
The commentary: This is an awfully specific WordPress prompt but OK, Al, I’ll play along. According to Google’s AI summary:
The New England Patriots signed rookie cornerback Al’Zillion Hamilton to their practice squad on October 6, 2026, as announced on the Official Patriots Roster Hub.
Player details and background
- Position: Cornerback
- Age and birthdate: 24 years old (born November 26, 2002)
- Size: 5-foot-11, 190 pounds
- College: Fresno State (54 games, 35 starts; 123 total tackles, 8 interceptions and 26 passes defensed)
- NFL path: Signed as an undrafted free agent by the Los Angeles Rams on April 28, 2026; waived by the Rams on August 29, 2026, before joining New England’s practice squad.
Context of the signing
- The Patriots added Hamilton to help reinforce their secondary depth following injuries to cornerbacks Christian Gonzalez, Channing Canada and Charles Woods.
- The move coincided with the release of linebacker Jose Ramirez from the active roster and offensive lineman Da’Metrius Weatherspoon from the practice squad.
With all of the team’s injuries it does make sense to stack resources in the defensive backfield. Frontline starters Christian Gonzalez and Carlton Davis (III) have missed time, and depth has been tested with injuries to backups Karon Prunty and Channing Canada. The Bears loss was telling—this defense can look good at times but they continue to give up big plays, and when they aren’t tackling reliably then it’s up to Maye and the offense to cover up mistakes. Away games on Thursday Night Football? Not the best moment for sound, well rested fundamentals. Maybe promoting Hamilton one of these days can make a difference, if only on special teams at first (could he have helped with the failed onside kick?), but he’ll have to earn the trust of the coaches first.
Wait a minute, Hamilton’s nickname is “AZ,” not “Al.” And wait a minute more, is that a capital I in the goddamn prompt? AI as in artificial intelligence? Oh. AI can get fucked.
The irony, though. Amiright?
I had to travel just outside of New England but I managed to see the Osees in Providence on Wednesday. Not sure what’s up with skipping Boston but OK, I can only guess some private equity firm has once again got a stranglehold on Boston’s performance network. It was worth the trip but mainly because I took Thursday morning off—so nice.
You’re not ready for This Week’s Sign the Buffalo Bills Are Fucking Toast! You’re not.
The most cursed team in American sports
Why Buffalo Bills fans are convinced this is finally their year.
You don’t need to subscribe to the Atlantic to get to the crazy…
The mythical story of the Buffalo Bills could be told like this: their fans are crazy and live in the snow. They shovel this snow out of their stadium to help their godforsaken football team, which, until recently, was most famous for losing the Super Bowl four times in a row in the early 1990s. According to one theory, those failures fed into Timothy McVeigh’s derangement before he planned and executed the Oklahoma City bombing.
Emphasis mine! Three sentences in! Osees played nothing from the recent Off Course on Wednesday but John Dwyer’s liner notes say it all, related to every fucking thing that’s going on in this country and beyond:
An album wondering where the fuck are we and how did we get here.
“Is this a period of American history in which to be safe? Fuck that.” Ten days, people. 🌊
Up next: An away game against a bad Dolphins team that’s built to spill victories all over its opponents. Or built to spill losses? You know what I mean. Cheers!
