The beer: Uinta Bristlecone Brown Ale
The commentary: Good evening! So this is what it’s like to need a first-round quarterback. Well, it’s the second consecutive year we’ve needed one, but the first time we might actually see it through. Exciting?
Tonight’s is my first WordPress running diary so I might have zero readers instead of the zero I had before. Welcome to the null set! What are we looking at, anyway? Newly branded Blogger relics…
…suggest lots of Ten Commandment jokes. It is fabulous, indeed. As for analysis, there won’t be much. For example, here’s how I responded to the twenty-ninth pick in 2014: “It’s defensive lineman Dominique Easley out of Florida, because we’ve had so much success drafting Gators. I’m not being fair because I know nothing about the player but what the fuck, Bill. Gruden starts with ‘If he gets healthy,’ which is exactly what you want to hear. ‘Big injuries,’ adds Kiper. ‘Two torn ACLs… durability is the reason I thought he’d be a second-/third-round pick at best.’ Lewis is trying to sell me on him but ‘he plays with a bunch of effort’ isn’t as comforting as the preferred ‘he plays with a bunch of talent.’ Another roll of the dice on a player with position flexibility, durability concerns and questionable production.”
Few things satisfy more than being right. Would it surprise you to hear that I support the it-was-mostly-Brady side of the dynasty aisle? Drag. It wasn’t all bad though: “See you in the playoffs.” Like, really not bad. Right on.
But next year, dear quarterback? Are you a (highly regarded rookie) master builder or a (retread Cam Newton/Jarrett Stidham) master butcher? A friend of mine posted to Facebook this week: “I just hope for 2 new quarterbacks one drafted & one veteran from trade. Want as much camp competition as possible. If Bill does what is best for his football team he’ll do something close… I’ve never run a team b4 of course, but Cam really doesn’t seem to have the ability to play against elite defenses & his speed won’t be any faster this year. And release Stidham yesterday.” Hot flames of fire! I endorse all of that. Let’s go.
8:01
I’m watching the NFL Network because Mike Greenberg is the opposite of everything I hold dear. What is ESPN thinking?
ESPN Executive No. 1: Say, who is going to host our draft coverage this year? You know, after it didn’t work out with Trey Wingo because he, uh, killed all those people, right?
ESPN Executive No. 2: That’s right! He killed all those people. So many people. So many children.
No. 1: That must be it. Tragic. Anyway, who’s going to be the next Chris Berman? Everyone loved Berman.
No. 2: I know, right? Everyone!
ESPN Executive No. 3: Boomer!
No. 2: I especially loved him, more than anybody else.
No. 1: Not more than me, you bastard!
No. 2: I mean, those nicknames? Those nicknames!
No. 1: “Alan ‘Have Gun Will’ Trammell”? Come on!
No. 2: Genius!
No. 3: Boomer!
No. 1: May he rest in peace. Otherwise he’d still be hosting, since he’s so beloved. Right?
No. 2: Right! That must be it. Tragic.
No. 1: So who we got? Everyone loves this Mike Greenberg. Loves him.
No. 3: Greeny!
No. 2: I love him most of all. Does he have a gimmick, like Berman–
No. 3: Boomer!
No. 2: –with the nicknames?
No. 1: “Joseph ‘Live and Let’ Addai”!
ESPN Executive No. 4: Hi everyone, sorry I’m late. I was sexually harassing the on-air talent.
No. 2: Oh yeah. I’ll be right back. Get me some.
No. 1: We were discussing the possibility of Mike Greenberg hosting the draft. The beloved Mike Greenberg.
No. 4: The beloved Mike Greenberg?
No. 1: Of course!
No. 4: Is he?
No. 1: Is he what?
No. 4: Is he beloved? Even likeable?
No. 1: He surely is, you bastard! The only thing I question is his gimmick potential.
No. 2: I’m back. That was satisfying and technically not illegal.
No. 1: A fine protégé, you are! We’re still trying to determine Greenberg’s gimmick and how that can translate to, say, decades of reliable hosting duties.
No. 4: Decades?
No. 1: Decades!
No. 2: Is it possible that his gimmick is being so likeable?
No. 1: Likeable! Of course!
Nos. 2 & 3: Likeable!
No. 4: Sure. Fine.
No. 1: Everybody likes a gimmick! Loves a gimmick. Especially a likeable one!
All: Likeable!
Chris Berman’s Ghost: “Mike ‘Village Greenberg Preservation Society’”!!1
No. 3: Boomer!
All: Greeny!
Rich Eisen: Greeny!
8:03
Eisen is joined by David Shaw, Charles Davis and Daniel Jeremiah. Shaw is the Stanford head coach and everyone keeps calling him “Coach.” Red flag.
8:04
Kurt Warner and another “quarterback” whose name I didn’t catch are outdoors at “Warner’s Corner.” With a name like “Warner’s Corner,” I suppose the other guy’s name doesn’t matter.
8:06
The acoustics in this hall are bonkers. Eisen: “In the background of all of the conversation–” are a couple of mic’d-up lunatics shouting instructions at the crowd. Meanwhile, Room Rater gives Jacksonville’s war room a 5/10 for cord violations. It looks like they’re all taking notes during an Amway presentation.
8:07
First mention of the reports about Aaron Rodgers wanting out of Green Bay. He seems like such an affable and upstanding individual. I am shocked!
8:10
Ladies and gentlemen, Kings of Leon! I owned their first album! It was pretty good! And now look at them! Listen to them! Worthless! If all else fails, give your audience seizures.
8:12
Here’s Goodell, who shields himself with one current (Jarvis Landry) and two former (Bernie Kosar and Joe Thomas) Browns players for this Cleveland crowd and still gets booed. The “Brownie fans” are surgical, cheering the players as they’re introduced for just long enough before transitioning back to Goodell’s boos. First round at the Winking Lizard is on me, folks.
8:13
You might think the crowd is professing their love for Kosar with chants of “Bernie! Bernie!” Instead, I choose to believe they’re accusing Goodell of being a “Baby-eater! Baby-eater!”
8:14
OK, this is pretty cool, plucking a “Jag-wires” fan out of the crowd and setting her up in… Goodell’s old chair? And man, I forgot the Browns won the Super Bowl last year! They’re ready to hang the banner!
8:15
Goodell: “The draft is now officially open.” Eisen: “Look at this draft hall, full of vaccinated people.” The league can put all these people together in a room but Jeff Probst, at any point over the last year, couldn’t quarantine twenty stiffs in Fiji to shoot Survivor: Pandemic? What the hell, Jeff?
8:16
“America’s game comes home to where it began.” Look, I’m not necessarily expecting a Cleveland band to score this montage—unless the Electric Eels would reunite: “How are these guys not in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?”—but at least give me an American band. For “America’s game.” Instead: U2. They need the exposure!
8:20
Since the Jaguars and, apparently, every first-pick team are contractually obligated to spend their allotted ten minutes “deciding,” why not indulge in mystical “Volume 13A” ahead of next month’s blather? The expanded definition by four years of “the beginning of the modern music age” plus, of course, 2020’s best album require five additional checkmarks to complete the set. Five! That’s a challenge with three jazz albums among the lot so let’s set two of those aside as an early bonus EP:
1. John Coltrane – Olé ✔️
2. Miles Davis – Solea ✔️
In a special ceremony recorded earlier at Revere Beach Pavilion No. 3, Thee Jazz Internet recognized 1961’s Olé Coltrane and 1960’s Sketches of Spain, respectively, for their achievement in… I don’t know, reasons that are no longer clear. You try shoehorning two warm-toned Iberian epics among a collection of forty-eight (generally) psychedelic rock songs just to satisfy the creamy middle. Talk about contractually obligated.
Let the shit run its full thirty minutes and I’ll tell you what you missed. Jets picks—“What??”—no longer satisfy away from Radio City anyway. Don’t worry about John and Miles, though: they’ll still join us for Volume 13 proper alongside old favorites Bikini Kill, Shocking Blue and fucking Creedence, who somehow hasn’t been compiled outside of Nomar Day. These are the problems I create for myself.
8:21
The “Warner’s Corner” crasher is Joel Klatt. The Joel Klatt. Nice tie. And he won only one fewer Super Bowl than Warner.
8:23
Two minutes on the clock. I look forward on Friday to listening back to Patriots Unfiltered’s live coverage. Their draft weekend produces the podcast medium’s greatest ten or so hours all year and I’ll probably revise this after the fact and drop in a few remarks—for example, Paul and Erik offered to count the number of times Eisen proclaims “And there it is” and “Wow!” Unfortunately, the prophecy was fulfilled and the team lost Megan to the WWE. The WWE! More self-aware braggadocio, though I was not alone in this projection: “Fred’s apparent boredom over and frustration with [Mike ‘D-Train’ ‘Deuce’ Dussault]’s one-dimensional ‘hot takes’ might already have shitcanned the guy if breakout star Megan O’Brien weren’t destined to graduate from the show in the offseason.” He’ll win me over if he cools it with the rabid pro-Belichick/anti-Brady schtick and drops an F-bomb on air.
[Edit: Here we go! PU comes in hot debating the big-picture significance of this draft for the team’s future:
Mike: People [on the radio] were like “This is the most important Patriots draft in twenty years!” I don’t really think it is, I just think that’s a cop-out to say when they don’t draft one of the top-five guys that the draft was a failure. It’s certainly important… most important though?
Jarrod: Isn’t it? Sure, if they bomb out—as statistics indicate they will, especially under your guy—then 2022 becomes more important. But for this season?
Fred: I do think that the free-agent frenzy took a little bit of the pressure off the draft this year. You still have to hit on these picks.
Paul: Where I agree with Mike is there’s a notion that this is a “franchise-altering draft.” There’s been a level of importance placed on this that I don’t think exists. I think it’s the biggest draft in twenty-plus years, but I don’t think that if they don’t come away with what they want that it’s over.
Jarrod: I don’t know. That sounds like two or three different arguments.
Erik: It could be a “franchise-altering draft” if they get a franchise quarterback who works out. It might be the most exciting draft in a generation. Since the Bledsoe draft.
Jarrod: Bingo!
Paul: And I think it’s that important.
Jarrod: Right on!
Paul: This whole “franchise-altering draft”… “this could have ramifications”… no.
Jarrod: Huh?
Paul: If you don’t end up getting a quarterback, life doesn’t end.
Jarrod: I’m glad you said that, Paul. Sometimes we need to be reminded about what matters in the world: basic human rights, freedom from oppression, global civility, public health and safety. The draft is an opportunity for millionaire players and billionaire owners to celebrate themselves without consideration for those less fortunate by continuing to market a product that knocks universal priorities out of whack from time to time, especially during autumn Sundays… and Mondays… and Thursdays… and Saturdays. It’s commendable that we open a forum to encourage empathy and toleran–
Kyle Shanahan: I can’t guarantee that anybody in the world will be alive on Sunday.
Jarrod: Jesus!
Jimmy Garoppolo: This fucking guy!
Mike: And that’s what I worry about, for these people, is there any successful draft that doesn’t involve getting Justin Fields or Trey Lance?
Jarrod: “These people”!
I’m trying real hard, Ringo, to not automatically disregard and become annoyed by everything Mike has to say… but come on. Obviously, I hope Mac Jones turns into the best quarterback of the draft class but if Fields (not Lance, so much, because he was essentially unattainable) is head and shoulders above him and none of Bill’s second- to seventh-rounders make a mark then I’m one of these people who will declare it an unsuccessful draft. Shudder. Luckily, within seconds of the above exchange, Fred goes Full Fred: “They just showed Trevor Lawrence at home and he’s with his girlfriend. I really do think that if you’re a draft pick, you should be sitting with your parents, assuming you have some. They’re the ones that got you there. Not your girlfriend. Not your girlfriend!” Minutes later Fred had to be corrected that Lawrence’s “girlfriend” was actually his wife. This show makes me so happy.]
8:25
The pick is in! It’s Trevor Lawrence, who wisely stayed home. FAMCAM.
8:33
Jets’ room is BOGO for bald white guys. They take quarterback Zach Wilson. Can he even play on a green field? Meanwhile, that Jag-wires lady must have really messed with Goodell’s ass groove because he’s done with people sitting in his chair.
8:35
Jeremiah: “This was the throw of the Pro Day season!” Holy shit, Jets, you are fucked.
8:37
Speaking of Bikini Kill, Creamy Correspondent® Kathleen Hanna checks in for her definitive breakdown of every NFL analyst’s understanding of picks three through thirty-two following the expected one-two of Lawrence and Wilson: “How does it feel? It feels bliiind! How does it feel?? Well, it feels fuckin’ blind!” Thanks, Kathleen! Niners on the clock.
8:41
Eisen: “I’m on pins and needles, gents!” Jimmy Garoppolo is on spears and laser beams. Up until maybe five weeks ago I thought “Trey Lance” was a nickname for Trevor Lawrence. I watch zero college football.
8:48
My bad, they are still doing the chair thing. Each fan is basically filling the role of a mailbox. The Falcons take tight end Kyle Pitts and his bitchin yellow elbow patches.
8:52
Arthur Blank sighting! Stay off the sideline until the game’s over, old man. Eisen provides my first laugh-out-loud moment of the draft: “Excitement in the fully vaccinated draft room, except for that dude on the computer. I don’t know what he’s looking at.”
[Fred: “There’s this one kid with curly hair on his phone.”
Paul: “Spaulding!”
Mike: “I want a cheeseburger, no, a hamburger!”
Paul: “You’ll get nothing and like it!”
Mike: “We just picked Kyle Pitts, shut up!”
Fred: “I’m bored!” “I told you not to come!” Ah, god, these draft rooms.
So happy.]
8:58
The Bengals take wide receiver Ja’Marr Chase, who apparently played with Joe Burrow at LSU. Louisiana to Ohio, huh? Fuuuuuuck. “Hang on Sloopy” plays for no logical reason whatsoever.
9:03
“That chair’s fully vaccinated.” Well, against COVID.
9:04
Another wide receiver is off the board as Miami takes Jaylen Waddle. “Ludicrous speed!” Pats’ secondary goes from suck to blow.
9:11
The Lions take tackle Penei Sewell, because nothing makes old men dance like first-round offensive linemen. Get a load of this godforsaken war room: “Speaking of hugging it out!” Did they land Sewell on the moon?
9:15
Ian Rapoport, a.k.a. Rap Sheet, a.k.a. Crap Sheet, tells us the Panthers might take Justin Fields, which is disappointing because that’s the guy I want the Pats to get at fifteen without having watched a second of his play. Even earlier, when they were showing highlights? I was probably embedding the Spotify link or something.
9:17
Nope, they take cornerback Jaycee Horn, which is two words I’ve heard together a lot in the past few weeks. Broncos are next and it’s gotta be Fields or Mac Jones, right?
9:22
Kay Adams held a Zoom call with Deion Sanders, Kevin Hart, Michael Strahan, Mark Wahlberg and a sober Tom Brady. Brady: “I love that Kevin’s here. We couldn’t get the Rock so Kev got to show up.” Hart’s response is cut so we can only assume the first word after the fade-out was “Motherfucker.” Meanwhile, Wahlberg is wondering if it’s OK for him to leave early. His kid’s sick, you know. Otherwise he’d stay. Totally.
9:26
It’s cornerback Patrick Surtain (II). Even Drew Lock is confused, though perhaps Rodgers isn’t. Jimmy G. envies the apparent loyalty.
9:30
Cowboys trade out to… the Eagles? Cowboys’ war room is vacant—Bizarro Jerry (Jones) in the house! What did you do, cut this out of a magazine or something?
9:34
Crap Sheet: “Here are a bunch of names! It could be any of them! This one, that one, any of them!” Kathleen Hanna’s got your number, buddy: “Suck! My! Left! One!”
9:35
Eagles take “silky smooth” Alabama wide receiver DeVonta Smith. Jeremiah: “He literally does not get touched on the way to the end zone!” as they freeze the highlight with a defensive back’s hand grabbing Smith’s shoulder pad. I like Jeremiah but I like the English language more and you can’t win that fight, Danny. I’ll back grammar every time. Figuratively.
9:39
Giants trade out to the Bears. Me, twenty minutes ago: “It’s gotta be Fields or Mac Jones, right?”
9:44
Justin Fields. Drag. FAMCAM.
9:45
Who’s that number two on Ohio State? I’ll take that guy!
9:51
Back to the Cowboys, who pick linebacker Micah Parsons. He’s wearing Cowboys blue so the fix was in all night. Chargers next, then Vikings, then good guys.
10:01
It’s another first-round offensive lineman as the Chargers take Rashawn Slater (Jr.). You can’t spell SUCCESS without TACKLE. Wait, what?
10:07
Jets trade into the Vikings spot and jump ahead of the Pats. What gives, baby? They already got their QB. I don’t like it. I feel like the Pats are about to trade out.
10:10
I can’t get enough of the chair. The Jets see the Chargers’ tackle and raise them guard Alijah Vera-Tucker as Paul McCartney’s legacy-ruining “Jet” blares.
[The Ringer: “All in all [the chair] was a strange gimmick. What better manifestation of [the NFL’s pompousness is there] than thinking fans would be honored to share the leather that rests beneath the NFL’s highest-paid asshole?” It’s a good line but I thought they were required to force Lost and Sopranos references into everything?]
10:11
Crap Sheet on the Patriots: “They love Mac Jones. At his worst he is Andy Dalton.” Stop. Stop talking.
10:12
Pick is in! Exciting! Everyone presumes it’s Jones. And is this idiot Pats fan wearing a Ras-I Dowling jersey? Eisen, discussing their war room: “Nike didn’t make it this year?” Good. Nike is a shit talent evaluator. Bob Kraft’s shirt is untucked ahead of his midnight appointment at Handy Jay’s Consensual Massage.
10:13
Infographic alert! And there it is: the Pats have one Pro Bowl appearance to show for fifty-three goddamn draft picks in the last five years. One! And it was the punter! In Bill we trust! Totally!
[Fred: “There are indications that Mac Jones is the pick.” PU fallout ahead of the formal announcement:
Mike: Reading defenses, knowing where to go with the ball, accuracy… that’s Mac Jones. You can’t deny that he has the skill set that they have liked for twenty years here.
Fred: Ayuh.
Erik: …
Paul: …
Mike: Nothin’? You guys got nothin’?
Erik: I’m… I just…
Paul: I’m not gonna feign enthusiasm.
Hoo boy.]
10:14
Eisen: “Here’s the pick.” Goodell: “Food Insecurity.” We drafted goddamn Food Insecurity! What! Hold on. “With the fifteenth pick in the 2021 NFL draft, the six-time world champion New England Patriots…” “Booooo!!!” “…select Mac Jones.” Eisen: “Wowww!” Jeremiah: “And there it is!” The perfect storm!
[Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner blog: “Jones is a great fit for the Patriots offense. He doesn’t have an amazing upside, but he can process quickly and operate an offense at a high level.” You mean the Patriots offense that sputtered badly last year and may be hesitant to evolve post-Brady to today’s standards?]
10:15
Newton’s tailor can help with that suit. Jeremiah: “You’re hoping he’s gonna turn into Matt Ryan.” Speak for yourself. Wahlberg may have missed Ryan wanting no part of overtime but I was right there, accidentally punching my low ceiling in triumph. Still, it’s hard not to be excited about something. Anything. I just hope he’s a twenty-first-century NFL quarterback.
[Let’s rewind to Patriots Unfiltered’s side-project Draft Prospect Review podcast and hear what Deuce and Paul had to say about Jones earlier in April: “accuracy… ability to get the ball out… say what you will about the athleticism… he can spin it (sniff).” Nice analysis about his impressive production likely being boosted by playing with receivers Jaylen Waddle (sixth overall pick) and DeVonta Smith (tenth)—they suggest he might be a late-first/early-second in another year. That’s still better than Newton/Stidham. Meanwhile, WBZ posted a “Get to know Mac Jones” primer that informs readers about Jones’s brief visit to Boston years ago: “He nearly lost a foot when his Croc got stuck in an escalator.” The reddest flag.]
10:17
Jones’s nickname is “The Joker”? Some people call me Maurice.
[Patriots.com’s glimpse into Belichick’s war room offers a Zapruder’s-eye view of anti-enthusiasm: “We’re all good on this?”]
10:19
Klatt: “The shoes are enormous.” No, that’s the one thing that worked out with the Cam Newton debacle last season. Mac Jones (or whoever) is no longer replacing Brady—he’s replacing Newton.
10:20
Wait, they don’t spend the broadcast’s remaining ninety minutes talking about Mac “The Joker” Jones? He stole my balloons!
[Paul: “This goes back to the Belichick adage, right? ‘I like to have guys that can do a lot of different things. And if they can only do one thing they need to be exceptionally good at it.’ This guy better be exceptionally good at reading defenses and throwing the ball fast… because he doesn’t have the athleticism to fall back on. That’s my concern… I don’t need a guy that I can design runs for, I need a guy that can run for a first down. I don’t think he can.”]
10:26
This is some batshit playlist. “The Power of Love,” “White Wedding,” etc. The Raiders take (shrug) tackle Alex Leatherwood, whom Jeremiah refers to as an “interesting pick.” “Is he any good?” “Well, he’s interesting.” Nice job, ex-NFL Network waffler Mike Mayock. FAMCAM indicates that Leatherwood’s first purchase should be wireless electronics.
10:30
Miami’s second pick is in and Madlib lives! Eisen refers to “Twist and Shout” as a Beatles song while pedantic sixties music fans mobilize for vengeance. We all know the Beatles covered the Isley Brothers covering the Top Notes.
10:40
Giants chyron: “Have not won playoff game since Super Bowl XLVI.” Fuck right off.
10:41
It’s time for DVRs to adopt variable playback speed as a feature. I’m two hours behind and running out of gas.
10:49
Walter Payton Man of the Year Russell Wilson Russell Wilson Russell Wilson (whose name appears in three places on the screen) talks about using the NFL platform to win one more Super Bowl than Joel Klatt.
10:52
“Take on Me.” One of that video’s wrench-wielding “racer villains” (!) was played by Alfie Curtis, who earlier portrayed the short-tempered Dr. Evazan in the Star Wars cantina. “You’ll be dead!” Pour one out for Walrus Man and Bruce Vilanch.
10:57
Colts’ pick Kwity Paye’s FAMCAM makes it look like he’s on an Ikea subway platform.
10:59
Eisen: “Well, it’s ‘Sweet Caroline’ coming from the house band. Touching me. Touching you.” Bob Kraft: “Is it midnight already?”
11:00
Everyone singing along is an asshole.
11:07
Eisen, narrating a side-by-side comparison between shirtless Tom Brady and shirtless Mac Jones: “Awww, Mac Jones! Outstanding! He’s already got Brady’s Twitter game and social-media game!” So we’re not addressing the pear shape?
11:20
Goodell reclaims the ass groove because inviting a second Jag-wires fan onstage is apparently too much to bear. He settles in like an overstuffed Thanksgiving drunk: thump. “Unhhh, that feels good.” Bob Kraft: “Wait up!”
11:26
A high school senior just injected more personality into this affair than Goodell ever could with a trunkload of angel dust. And by trunk I mean his ass.
11:41
Crap Sheet reports that Rodgers is upset with the Packers for drafting quarterback Jordan Love last year and therefore “doesn’t want to return to the team.” That’s one way to handle it. Another way is to control what you can control and win three Super Bowls with the team that “lost faith in you” before jumping to another team and winning a fourth (so far). Douche.
11:44
“Tonight, I will wear a cheese hat on national television.” “And I will join you.” “And I.” “And I as well, for we are legion.” Meanwhile, scores of Wisconsin wives install Ashley Madison on their bedazzled iPhones.
11:49
It’s a “Day Tripper”/“A Hard Day’s Night” medley. These, Rich, are Beatles originals.
11:51
Goodell to the seated Bills fan: “Get out.” The team takes first-team All-ACC edge rusher Gregory Rousseau, whose highlight reel features no footage against Mac Jones. Is that because they never played or because Jones fully owned him? I don’t know how college conferences work. I’m so tired.
12:02
The Buccaneers heroically submit the final pick several minutes early. And why not? They’ve got titles to repeat. (Shudder.) Goodell: “And that brings us to the conclusion.” Compelling to the very end.
12:05
Eisen, during the after-show: “What about you, Coach Shaw? What do you think?” I think you should stop calling a man “Coach” who isn’t your coach. Is there any Pats talk in the last twenty-five minutes of my recording or what?
12:18
My man Willie McGinest is in the studio with MJ Acosta-Ruiz and others but it’s all about Fields until more Packers drama overshadows the draft class. The backdrop is a shot of Rodgers pointing both thumbs at the name on the back of his jersey—he’s won one more Super Bowl than Joel Klatt. Douche.
12:25
I’m all set. Creamy Correspondent® Kathleen Hanna, take us out. “Don’t need you to say we’re cute!” Hey! I said no such thing. “Don’t need you to say we’re alright!” I’m just trying to end this gracefully. “Don’t need your atti-fuckin-tude, boy!” I’m sorry. Goodnight, Kathleen. “Don’t need your kiss goodnight!”
More Cream Please 