The game: Patriots at Raiders
The beer: Baxter Oktoberfest Märzen Lager
The result: Loss, 21–17
The method: Live via Paramount+
The record: 1–5
The headline: “The proof is in the pudding!” – Electric Eels, “Safety Week”

The commentary: A collaborative play in three acts:

Act I: Malik Cunningham, American Football Player by Wikipedian Danjobilly1 and three anonymous editors
10/14/23, 4:03 PM On October 14, 2023, the Patriots signed [Cunningham] to a three-year contract from the practice squad to the active roster.
10/14/23, 8:24 PM He is the best player on the New England Patriots.
10/14/23, 9:15 PM He will take the Patriots to the promised land.
10/14/23, 9:41 PM By the time Malik retires, he will surpass Tom Brady by winning eight Super Bowls. All of them with the Patriots.

Act II: There Is Nothing by Patriots Unfiltered’s Tamara Brown
10/15/23, 2:40 PM 👀  Malik Cunningham as the backup QB.
10/15/23, 5:16 PM There is nothing uncharacteristic about what we’re seeing.
10/15/23, 5:20 PM At this point in his career, Mac Jones has to know when to take the sack or throw the ball away. To say he is making uncharacteristic mistakes is ignoring the truth… this is very much his DNA.
10/15/23, 7:04 PM Very on brand that the Raiders surpass twenty points for the first time all season once they play the Patriots.
10/15/23, 7:30 PM The Jets  👀

Act III: Some Kind of Release by some Onion staff writer
10/20/23, 7:05 AM Frustrated Robert Kraft wishes there were somewhere he could go to relieve tension of Patriots season.

Up next: Act IV, in which I’d like to report a murder. Cheers!