The game: Patriots at 49ers
The beer: Throwback Oatmeal Porter
The result: Loss, 30–13
The record: 1–3
The headline: “Sometimes you make me wonder. I get the blues and then I wonder. Who’s the fool, me or you? Sometimes I wonder.” – Impressions, “Sometimes I Wonder”

The commentary: I’m the fool, Curtis! Sam, Fred: it’s me! It’s all of us! All of New England! Minus Vermont, half of Connecticut and non-Pawtucket Rhode Island!

It’s Jerod Mayo, Eliot Wolf! It’s the Krafts—Robert and his whores!

It’s Bill Belichick! Still! It’s Matt Patricia! Matt Groh! Et al!

It’s Mike Lombardi and Belichick’s media apologists! It’s not Evan Lazar, not Bert Breer!

It’s Matt Smith, new host of the official (same official that censored Catch-22 and somehow never Patriots Unfiltered) Patriots Pregame Social Show and Patriots Postgame Show, who hasn’t one percent of Hardy’s sense of humor!

It’s this writer!

Sixteen points and a hundred twenty passing yards won’t win many games…

That’s me again!

Up next: Pats and Fins set professional football back decades—right or wrong, Drake Maye is a matter of time. Cheers!