Week one
The game: Patriots at Dolphins
The beer: Berkshire Saint of Circumstance India Pale Ale
The result: Win, 38–24
The commentary: I’m calling this season “2011” even though it spills into 2012 because “2011/2012” is a little clumsy. I’m more bothered by it than you are. [Edit: How did I not yet resolve this with Roman numerals? I know nothing about football.]

So here’s my little “G.” Isn’t she the most precious thing in all of history? Very nice of her to pose with my kicked BBC bomber, putting a tiny little baby hand up there like that. (One of the outtake photos had her pointing at her mouth with Homer Simpson’s “beer goes in here” enthusiasm, but it was a little blurry.) Her mom’s only reservation when I asked if I could put the bottle in with her was to “make sure it’s clean.” That’s family.

The Monday night game marked her two-week birthday and Tom Brady & His Patriot Men really lit it up for her. Happy fortnight, daughter! The outcome was never in doubt, even after the Dolphins marched up the field on the opening drive on their way to a 7–0 lead. Before too long I was holding G. and narrating (in a soothing Tom Selleck voice, of course) a string of big Deion Branch gains to try to put her to sleep. Overall I did a good job of not yelling too loudly—neither she nor our cat Chloe was disturbed by my excitement over a number of huge Branch, Welker, Woodhead, Gronkowski and Hernandez plays. And yes, it is awesome to be able to list all those offensive weapons together.

But the defense? Mayo had another one of his is-he-even-out-there games. McCourty looked like Ellis Hobbs, in position to make too many tackles (which means too many catches allowed). The pass rush was inconsistent at best, familiar at worst (as in: nonexistent). Overall, Henne just looked too good, even if a lot of his yards came in prevent/garbage time. Hopefully Belichick makes some adjustments (not his strong suit lately) in time for an explosive Chargers team tomorrow.

(Not sure what it’s like to be a Fins fan this week. The offense was decent but the defense was entirely useless. Hard to be optimistic. They’ll probably finish with six or seven wins and get blown up again in the offseason—that’s what happens when your most heralded player is a left tackle and the guy he’s protecting is a bum.)

(Speaking of bums, how about Tony Romo? Aside from Donovan McNabb—yikes—he might be the worst quarterback in the league. That was one of the most awful individual meltdowns I’ve ever seen, and of course it benefited the fucking Jets. Meanwhile, Sanchez is in midseason shaky-start/stellar-finish form. Another fun year for the AFC East.)

Anyway, despite what I wrote following last year’s, uh, fun AFC East playoff matchup, maybe I do know something about football. It’s just the little details like wins, losses and production that get hazy. Remember my post-Super Bowl roster projection? Not bad. I’ll start with the big things I got wrong, so as not to get all high on myself: I didn’t think they’d cut Alge Crumpler or Gerard Warren. They brought Warren back for a few minutes in the preseason before cutting him again—the defensive line rotation was pretty good the other night so I’m not sure he’ll be back again, but I can’t believe another idiot Gronkowski brother is a better blocking tight end than my man Crumpler. My only guess is he’s still recovering from injury (multiple surgeries) and once that’s squared away he’ll resume last year’s role as Mr. Miyagi to Hernandez’s and Gronkowski’s (the real one) scatterbrain LaRusso brothers. Those two put on an offensive clinic last week and I just want to make sure they don’t get all Terry Silver arrogant on us. (I watched The Karate Kid, Part III the other day. Paternity leave rules!) Since there’s been no news of Crumpler retiring or working out for other teams, I figure there’s some wink-wink-nudge-nudge talk between his camp and Belichick’s that he’ll be welcomed back. Nu-Gronk is even keeping 82 warm for him.

I also missed on Koppen still being with the team. I thought he’d be one of those role players Belichick likes to cut a year before his contract expires—little did I know he’d stay on only to miss the bulk of the season due to injury. I like the guy and he and Brady do alright together, but he’s a little undersized against the physical AFC defenses we play every year (Jets, Chargers, Ravens). I hope Connolly does well at center because I like keeping him in full time, and if that carries on then I love 2012’s young starters of Solder at left tackle (even Matt Light admitted the second half of the “two-year” contract he just signed is essentially make-believe), Mankins at left guard (would be the most established veteran on the line), Connolly (or a first-round draft pick) at center, a cancer-free Marcus Cannon with something to prove at right guard (fingers crossed) and “The Texan Kraut” Sebastian Vollmer (not an actual nickname) at right tackle. That group could play together through 2020.

Last but not least, James “That’s a Champion Right There” Sanders was cut. No one saw that coming except for the people who knew week to week how important he was to the defensive backfield and feared week to week that he would be released. Shocking and unfortunate. I won’t take as much heat on keeping Darius Butler as a fourth-stringer because I didn’t think they’d draft a corner with the first pick in the second round. On that topic, how come everyone around here says that pick is essentially a late first-rounder but no one called Mankins an early second-rounder in 2005?

A gray area shows up with my man Kevin Faulk, who I thought would take the Tedy Bruschi route and retire during training camp after realizing there wasn’t a place for him on the team. And that was before the team drafted running backs in the second and third rounds. I like the PUP direction though and I’m glad he’s around the team (the young backs in particular) right now, and his potential return in October or November would be good for everyone. The only way that doesn’t happen is if Green-Ellis and Woodhead stay healthy and rookies Ridley and Vereen are running for a hundred yards apiece every game. No way there are five active running backs week to week and I don’t see a Patriot of Faulk’s stature being DNPCD’d. We’ll see. In other gray-area news, I’m not savvy enough to have called the defensive scheme shift or the unlikely Haynesworth (who looked pretty good) trade, though I’ve been hinting at Ochocino’s arrival for years. Look it up!

So where did I hit? I’ll keep it short: Ty Warren. Kaczur. TBC. Meriweather. You’re welcome.

On to the beer then. The Saint of Circumstance is BBC’s “accidental guess” at what nineteenth century English IPAs might have tasted like. It’s a limited release I first tasted at last month’s beer dinner at the Cambridge Common. (So limited that I was pleasantly surprised to find it locally in bottles the following week.) That evening, the co-founder explained that it was intended to be a batch of their Lost Sailor IPA (see last year’s week four) except the crate of hops had to have survived a warehouse fire or something because the brewed result was milder, smokier and certainly “not Lost Sailor.” I attended the dinner with two friends and we were all blown away by how good it was—undoubtedly our favorite of the six or seven beers we had that night. It was better on tap, as usual, but the bomber was an excellent opening-night option. Right on.

Up next: Bring on the Bolts. In the preseason I penciled this in as one of four losses, along with the Giants, at the Jets and either at Oakland or at Philadelphia. I’ll take this one back: the Pats win because the Chargers once again forget to print out the special teams portion of their playbook. Cheers!