The game: Jets at Patriots
The beer: Boothbay Ken Brown Ale
The result: Win, 27–14
The record: 9–2
The headline: “You’re like the ocean! Always in motion!” – Lyres, “Stormy”

The commentary: It’s a funny thing to root for the Chiefs—especially so when the wished-for outcome might spell your doom two months early. Chiefs vs. Broncos, week eleven? Go Chiefs! Chiefs vs. Colts, week twelve? Go Chiefs! Chiefs vs. Patriots, playoffs? This wasn’t supposed to happen! Maybe Denver’s win isn’t terrible.

Rivalries Week alert! Check out the Pats’ alternate “Nor’easter” “Storm Blue” uniforms! (Was one nickname insufficient? Straightforward couture, homey.) They looked fine if not fiiine in promotional pictures earlier this year but the Patriots Unfiltered crew convinced me they were so much better in person. Erm, I can’t vouch for that, but they looked… fine… on TV—Sports Illustrated’s Conor Orr, one half of the wonderful and unindexed Heat and Light podcast along with Marc Sessler, joined Marc and fellow Around the NFL ex-host Dan Hanzus on their new-ish Heed the Call podcast and astutely described the slate blue as “desaturated.” How this man was hoodwinked by Carmen “PhD” Boulter is beyond me. HTC is, of course, named after one of Dan’s dozens of ATN bits that eventually drove me crazy—the man is funny but, boy, he thinks he’s fuuunny. Anyway, I didn’t care for the monochromatic blue logo on the helmet—if you’re going with a dull color then you need something more exciting than white to offset it, right? Like fire engine red? At least use tht for more than Nike swooshes and a handful of barely-there stars—what do I know.

Luckily our star quarterback—ah, to write those words—has his priorities in order:

Drake Maye responds to Cam Newton’s “fool’s gold” comment—“I don’t even know what show he’s on”

Give him the Super Bowl MVP trophy right now.

Cam Newton isn’t as high on the Patriots and Drake Maye as others seem to be, even calling New England’s success “fool’s gold” due to its schedule. But Maye isn’t letting Newton—who the quarterback has cited as someone he looked up to growing up—take up space in his head.

Good thinking. The guy couldn’t even take up roster space following a trainwreck 2020.

“I don’t even know what show he’s on,” Maye said during his weekly appearance on WEEI.

“And the award for Best Putdown Since Don Draper’s ‘I don’t think about you at all’ goes to…”

“I think they get paid to make remarks and make certain comments. So, I just worry about what people in our organization think, and worry about we think and what my teammates think. People are going to have different opinions. I’m just going out there on Sunday and worrying about ourselves.”

[Vibrating.]

Newton’s biggest issue has been the Patriots playing “sorry scrubs” week after week, negating the fact New England beat the Buffalo Bills and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on the road. While the schedule is statistically one of the easiest in the NFL, it’s not something the Patriots have any control over.

The difference is those sorry scrubs are losing to the Patriots, who were meant to be sorry scrubs themselves.

[…] Newton has also taken issue with Maye being referred to as a top-five quarterback, noting he wants to see the second-year quarterback play consistently against “well and capable” competition.

Well and capable? Look, I liked Newton before he came to Foxborough and I wanted him to succeed here—it wasn’t his fault Belichick had no idea whatsoever how to manage anything post-Brady and brought him aboard out of desperation. But this is some bullshit from a former player who totaled sixty-three points across two three-game losing streaks and was mathematically eliminated from the playoffs in week fifteen. Gimme a break.

Maye’s play this year—despite what some may say about the schedule—has put him in the MVP conversation. His 2,836 yards this season ranks first in the NFL, and his 73.2 QBR is second. The Patriots are 9–2 and sit atop the AFC East. They’ve also won eight games in a row and have the 3–7 Cincinnati Bengals in week twelve.

I don’t like using QBR as evidence but it’s OK, Cam, to transcend your environment and admit when you’re wrong. BUM-BA-DE-BUM, BUM-BA-DE-BUM.

Up next: Joe Burrow? Joe Flacco? Joe Mama! Cheers!