Sinclair, Royale, Royale: “You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?”

The game: Jets at Patriots
The beer: Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale
The result: Win, 25–22
The record: 2–6
The headline: “You’ve got Nazi fever!” – Osees, “Cassius, Brutus and Judas”

The commentary: Google search results—reliable!—cannot confirm that John Dwyer sings “You’ve got Nazi fever!” at 1:14. “Nasty fever”? “Naughty feet, sir”? Come on, no one else hears this? I am a Democrat, after all, and since there are so many MAGA Republicans who refuse to acknowledge Trump’s fascist leanings—except, that is, for everyone who attended the Madison Square Garden Reichsparteitag rally on a goddamn NFL Sunday—maybe I’m just looking to be outraged. Good thing CBS’s A-team is nowhere near the Pats since week one because sideline reporter Evan Washburn’s Hitler haircut is a bridge too fucking far.

Seriously, though, he definitely sings “You’ve got Nazi fever!” It’s right here at 21:16.

I’m right about Cassius, I’m right about Trump and I was right about Aaron Rodgers thirteen friggin years ago with a passing Late Night remark outing his blame-game leadership style. Joel Klatt can rest easy knowing that he will have only one fewer Super Bowl victory than that motherfucker for the rest of his life. Who even signs Rodgers next year? Maybe Trump, god forbid. Shudder.

It’s satisfying for the Pats to be responsible for the Jets out-Jetting themselves—if only Drake Maye could have seen it through. Drag. Again, though, the concussion spotters must have been following the Nazi proceedings on their phones—everyone watching on TV knew Maye wasn’t OK after that hit and apparently it was the respected Jacoby Brissett who had to wave the flag. Jesus. He had an interest, sure, but supposed concern over player safety is the best trick the league ever pulled even as no one falls for it. Remember when they removed the dolphin’s helmet? It was a damn metaphor!

Then Brissett strolls in, leading the team to a hard-fought win with some tough throws and (gulp) all of a hundred thirty-two yards passing. It’s not exactly playoff contention but it’s much fun as we fans could have with Maye on the sidelines.

Wednesday was the Osees in Boston, of course—“of course” since they’ve pre-empted Survivor going on four years now. I missed last year’s show because old age is a bastard and I was on the fence this time around too—what the hell, man? Curiosity to hear Intercepted Message and Sorcs 80 material live won out and I was rewarded with “Blank Chems” from the former, “Drug City” from the latter and not a damn thing else. Not even “Cassius, Brutus and Judas”—who’s got Nazi fever now??

Third time’s the charm, and a third magic genie wish is granted, as this show somehow topped 2021’s and 2022’s from a “Fuck yeah!” perspective. Openers Godcaster were borderline laughable if entertaining—their self-absorbed prancing cleared the way fast for Paul and Dan’s drums to slide to the front of the stage. Good riddance.

Osees kicked off the nearly two-hour set a little before nine—thank you very much—with two bars of “Carrion Crawler” “Interstellar Overdrive” and then A Weird Exit’s “Plastic Plant,” which is fitting because that 2016 album was current when I first got into “Thee Oh Sees.” 2022’s excellent A Foul Form provided a wonderful early punk block with “Funeral Solution” and the title track—am I sure it’s not better than Free LSD? “Withered Hand” and “Animated Violence” represented the blather as they always have because, I don’t know, Connie Chung put out a memoir last month. Dan Rather weeps.

Following an (nicely) interminable “Warm Slime,” John fucked up “Scramble Suit II” (introduced as “a slow one”) because manic 7/4 will do that—laughing afterward, he noted that he looked toward Paul halfway through the song for help bailing him out but Paul shrugged his shoulders and kept playing. I love this band. An extended-jam “C” (with the familiar “Eat Y’self Fitter” added to the chorus—steal from your heroes) was relegated to the pit of penultimate darkness after closing the last two shows. I always thought it was a strange way to send people off and “Minotaur” was more successful for reasons other than Royale’s labyrinthian escape route. La-la, la-la.

The band seemed to enjoy themselves as John thanked “Massachusetts” several times and complimented the professional crowd-surfers in the house. Paul took a picture of the crowd on his way offstage—sweet—and I even bought one of their various skull-design shirts. See you next fall, fellas… maybe on a Thursday? Who knows, maybe before then:

UK Tour 2025
June 15 – Marble Factory – Bristol
June 16 – 02 Ritz – Manchester
June 18 – SWG3 Galvanisers – Glasgow
June 19 – Liquid Rooms – Edinburgh
June 20 – Irish Centre – Leeds
June 21 – The Crossing – Birmingham
June 23 – Electric Ballroom – London
June 24 – Heaven – London
June 25 – Chalk – Brighton

The 2024 Creamy® will come down to Sorcs 80, Shellac’s To All Trains or Ty Segall’s remarkable percussion experiment Love Rudiments and, honestly, I didn’t think Segall had it in him after failing to tighten up last year’s Three Bells. Good to have you back, buddy! Sorry you’ll probably lose again. Maybe design a cover that works well on a phone lock screen? G. and Jazzy will position themselves perfectly.

Up next: Sunday versus Tennessee, Tuesday versus Tennessee et al. Happy Halloween!