Quintessentially me: “Share five things you’re good at”
The game: Giants at Patriots
The beer: Definitive Contee Kölsch-Style Ale
The result: Win, 33–15
The record: 11–2
The headline: “Gather the patriots like days of old! Have no regrets—soon the bodies are cold!” – Fifty Foot Hose, “Red the Sign Post”
The commentary: I get the most WordPress… engagement… whenever I answer one of these prompts—welcome, readers and/or SEO enthusiasts! I’ll make the identity theft easy for you:
- “What’s your all-time favorite album?”
- “What things give you energy?”
- “What brands do you associate with?”
- “What’s the trait you value most about yourself?”
- “What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?”
- “How much would you pay to go to the moon?”
- “Who is the most famous or infamous person you have ever met?”
- “What book are you reading right now?”
- “Name your top three pet peeves”
- “How are you creative?”
- “What colleges have you attended?”
- “If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?”
- “What do you complain about the most?”
- “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
- “List three books that have had an impact on you and why”
- “Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why”
- “What’s your favorite word?”
- “What would you do if you lost all your possessions?”
- “What principles define how you live?”
- “What’s something most people don’t know about you?”
- “You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?”
- “What’s something you believe everyone should know?”
- “If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?”
- “What bothers you and why?”
- “Tell us the last thing you got excited about”
- “How do you relax?”
- “Do you see yourself as a leader?”
- “List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter”
- “When was the first time you really felt like a grown-up (if ever)?”
Number thirty, let’s go!
- Understanding that, in English, it’s OK to end a sentence with a preposition. Our good friends at Day One Incorporated demonstrate as much with (yesterday’s) daily prompt, and anyone who insists otherwise is ignorant or second-century Roman. It’s true, I promise! That’s where we’re at!
- Embracing the music of 1968. How has it taken me so long to assign this Fifty Foot Hose “patriot” chorus to a game? All it took was a simple search of my MP3 library—own your music—for songs beginning with throwback “Red.” Zenith Year for the win! (Related: Being totally fine with Spotify adding twenty-five years to calculate my “listening age.” It’s half the battle to recognize a troll.)
- Being amused by the nonsense of otherwise sensible Bluesky follows. A Giants fan’s pronouncement that “The Patriots are cooked” while comparing—favorably—Jaxson Dart’s pregame leather duster to Revenge of the Sith-era Anakin Skywalker is all I needed to reclaim my position among smug, spoiled, entitled Patriots fans around the goddamn world. Guy, did you even finish the movie?
Nope!Anakin: You underestimate my power! [Loses one arm and two legs.] I hate you!
- Appreciating the genius of Fred Kirsch. During the Patriots (Unfiltered) Postgame Show, he wondered if former Tar Heel Drake Make would spend the bye weekend attending his alma mater’s bowl game. “Bills Corpse,” indeed.
- Lastly: Getting laid off when Trump is president. Fucking guy.
Up next: No more figuring half-game or loss-column leads. Cheers!